IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

in the future more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
An enormous amount of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to celebrate
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
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 in their home
country
 rather than overseas.
This
 essay will argue why local tourism is convenient. I endorse
this
 idea, It is not only affordable but
also
 provides ease of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication.
Although
 travelling abroad
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 exposure to a wide range of tourist attractions, it is expensive not everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
resources
Correct article usage
the resources
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 to opt for it.
While
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world is experiencing inflation, it is almost impossible to
bare
Verb problem
bear
show examples
 cost of the international travel.
For instance
, if someone plans to go abroad.
First,
a large documentation is required which even needs
services
Correct article usage
the services
show examples
 of a professional consultant,
TNext
Correct your spelling
Next
, flights and currency exchange rates
fluctuates
Correct subject-verb agreement
fluctuate
show examples
 rapidly.
Then
, accommodation and food services available for foreigners are much more expensive as compared to natives.
Hence
, in the light of aforementioned problems,
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 will take local tourism into consideration. One other challenge for
vacationning
Correct your spelling
vacationing
 abroad would be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication. Almost every
country
 has its
on
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 language which tourists are not familiar with.
For example
, a strong interaction is only possible when people converse with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
. Whether it is booking a residence,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to
tourist
Add an article
a tourist
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 spot, or
purcahsing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 something from retailers one must need to understand and communicate.
While on
Correct word choice
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, there is no hustle in talking with people,
listening
Correct word choice
and listening
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 to stories and
thought
Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
show examples
 behind tourist attractions when it is homeland.
Therefore
, there is no language barrier as long as you are in
native
Correct pronoun usage
your native
show examples
country
. In conclusion, I entirely agree with
idea
Add an article
the idea
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 of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 within
native
Add an article
the native
a native
show examples
country
 it is worthwhile in terms of expenses and communication.
Submitted by Haris Khan on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and subsequent sentences that directly support the topic. Make use of linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'However') to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
You have a complete response to the task with a clear position throughout the essay. To improve task achievement, your essay would benefit from a wider range of specific examples and more detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments. Consider incorporating statistics, hypothetical situations, or personal anecdotes to make your points more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Errors with word choice ('bare' should be 'bear', 'vacationning' should be 'vacationing') and sentence structure can detract from the clarity of your message. Practicing paraphrasing and using a variety of grammatical structures can enhance your writing.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay for minor spelling and grammatical errors to ensure professionalism and clarity in your writing. Proofreading carefully can help catch and correct these mistakes.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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