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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017
#tourists #caribbean #island
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The line graph illustrates how many travellers
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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visited
in
Change preposition
apply
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a particular Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 from 2010
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 experienced
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 fastest growth by the end of the period, there were more tourists than the other two places combined.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
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 and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cruise ships
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 throughout the period. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the period the number of travellers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
stayedon
Correct your spelling
stayed on
stayed
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 reached a low
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
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 0.3
millions
Change to singular
million
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. It continued to grow
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2011 when it peaked at 0.5
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
, before falling into decline in 2012.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it started growing gradually from 2012 till 2017 and peaked at exactly 2
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sightseers. Its place as
a leading tourists
Correct the article-noun agreement
a leading tourist
leading tourists
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 were taken by
visitors
Use synonyms
styaing
Correct your spelling
staying
 on cruise ships which demonstrated a strong upward trend between 2012 and 2017. With regard to the remaining
visitors
Use synonyms
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
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 on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 increased slowly by 2013
wiyth
Correct your spelling
with
 1.5
millons
Correct your spelling
million
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 and stayed at the same level by 2017.
Submitted by qydyrbayeva.a on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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