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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that the rise of automation and artificial intelligence will lead to significant job losses in various industries. Others argue that it will create new job opportunities and improve productivity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is an ongoing debate whether the use of advanced technology and AI impacts negatively or positively on workers' job requirements in numerous firms.
Although
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 a few individuals believe that the increase in automation is the main reason for losing a number of employees'
jobs
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, others think that these advancements play an imperative role in new job opportunities and production. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views before presenting my opinion. Two main reasons have been observed for why workers are fired from the workplace
due to
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 robotics. To commence with, robotics is likely to help save time.
For example
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, the packaging company needs 15-20 workers for different
jobs
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such
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 as labelling, boxing, taping, and restoring within a certain amount of time;
conversely
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, one machine can do these
jobs
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 alone in a few minutes.
Consequently
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,
machines
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 not only replace manpower but
also
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 save the company's time.
Apart from
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this
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, robotics is a sufficient option for working in dangerous places,
such
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 as
constructions
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construction
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, fireworks, heavy lifting and many more.
Therefore
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, companies prefer
machines
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 rather than manpower to overcome danger in these places.
On the other hand
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, these automations create numerous new
jobs
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 because industries hire new employees to operate these
machines
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.
For instance
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, a recent
research
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study
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 in America has shown that 70% of new IIT employees are appointed
for managing
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to manage
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 these
machines
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 and artificial intelligence. Since
this
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 innovation provides new
jobs
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 and career paths to newcomers. In conclusion, as every coin has two sides, simultaneously, automation plays a significant role in creating new employment, but I fortify that folks face many difficulties
to get
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in getting
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 better
jobs
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due to
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 these advancements.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction states the problem and your opinion, but it could be clearer about your view. Try to make your stance stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but some points need more clarity. Make sure each paragraph connects well to the main idea.
Task Achievement
You provide examples, but some are not detailed enough. More relevant examples can strengthen your arguments and make them clearer.
Task Achievement
You explain both sides of the argument well and include relevant examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has good overall structure with clear paragraphs, making it easier to follow.
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