IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many of us, if not all, want to have
children
Use synonyms
 at some point in our lives. Some choose to do
this
Linking Words
 relatively sooner
while
Linking Words
 others prefer to become parents at an older
age
Use synonyms
. The emotional and financial aspect of
this
Linking Words
 trend takes precedence over the few drawbacks it has to offer. Being a parent is a huge responsibility, and it makes perfect sense to consider each factor beforehand.
Firstly
Linking Words
, parenthood demands a certain level of maturity. If we are not mentally ready, our offspring will likely have a troubled childhood.
For example
Linking Words
, it is more common among the
children
Use synonyms
 of alcoholics to be neglected and
then
Linking Words
 indulge in drugs and alcohol. Another advantage is that financially secure individuals can better support their newborn’s expenses. Many of us start earning a higher salary around our thirties. Not only will
this
Linking Words
 bear the cost of the baby’s necessities, but it will
also
Linking Words
 aid in boosting a first-time parent’s self-confidence. Despite all of that, several challenges, mainly physical, arise as we grow old. For women specifically, it becomes increasingly difficult to conceive in their thirties.
This
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 bracket is considerably higher for men, but it comes with its complications.
For example
Linking Words
, studies prove that the levels of sex hormones decrease for both genders with increasing
age
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, rare disorders are often seen in babies of older people, as evidenced in numerous medical journals.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it is contended that reproducing at a younger
age
Use synonyms
 is better as we are still in perfect health. In conclusion, having
children
Use synonyms
 later in life has the benefits of fulfilling the emotional and financial needs of
children
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
 to the boost in parents’ confidence, outweigh the potential physical disadvantages it may or may not have.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
When presenting an argument or discussion, ensure to support your points with more specific examples or evidence. Referencing studies or statistics can add credibility to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures and introducing more transitional phrases to enhance readability and the flow of ideas. While your essay has a logical structure, further refinement in linking sentences and paragraphs can enhance coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: