Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits

Most of those who play video
games
, do it for fun, or because it can be educative in a certain way, rather than other parts of the population who think that these
games
have a harmful effect. In my opinion, the number of people who play computerized
games
many times is increasing and I think that it promotes bad damage to humans. First of all, nowadays, many people are playing video
games
in their free time. It is true that a multitude of different
games
has been created, and among them, there are those which are educative, or even where one has to resolve a problem, and so forth.
Consequently
,
this
encourages people to play them because everyone is able to find a game for themself.
For instance
, recently my teacher said to our class that it is possible to play a computerized game created for learning about mathematics. Playing a lot of video
games
is spending hours on a screen, which is not good for human health, there is a tendency to not stop because it is addictive.
Also
, it can create attention troubles in class, when you try to concentrate yourself.
Moreover
, to illustrate the argument, not a long time ago, a study conducted by the University of London, published by the Scientific Gazate proved that 90% of the public who are playing
games
can not stop themself and do not put limits on it.
To conclude
,
although
there are those who consider
games
very important, educative and beneficial for our society, for the majority of the population, it causes bad effects and bad repercussions.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that the essay consistently addresses the specific topic throughout. Develop your ideas more fully by expanding on how video games have educational benefits as well as potential drawbacks. Providing a balanced perspective or more detailed argumentation will increase the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to better organize your essay with clear paragraphing, each focused on a single main idea. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly across and within paragraphs. Additionally, varying your sentence structures could make the writing more engaging and easier to follow.

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