Attending a live performance (for example a play, concert, or sport event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that watching a performance through television is nowhere near as intriguing as participating in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar one. From my point of view, I don’t regard myself as an advocate of
this
conception and it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt, there is a steady stream of reasons why we ought to attend a show directly, yet I suppose the most outstanding one is to meet the
public’
Change noun form
public’s
show examples
desire to see popular people in real life.
For example
, recently, one of the most famous and worldwide concerts which have been implemented by Blackpink in My Dinh national stadium is Born Pink. Thousands of Vietnamese have paid money to see their idol as soon as possible.
Hence
,
that is
the reason why watching a
live
show should be taken into consideration when they decide to watch a concert.
While
the redeeming features of the
live
event are widely acknowledged, it is an undeniable fact that watching the uniform show through screens greatly brings us a sense of comfort and convenience.
And
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
owing to the fact that for the time being, there is an eclectic mix of top-notch devices which are able to do wonders for our watching experiences by enhancing screens’ quality or advancing pieces of equipment
such
as cameras.
Furthermore
, watching an event
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
television is suitable for those whose hands are tight since individuals can replay it multiple times on some insightful applications and websites namely
steam
Capitalize word
Steam
show examples
, Youtube
as well as
Tiktok.
Hence
, it is watching a
live
event through a screen that greatly assists us
to chill
Change preposition
in chilling
show examples
out. In conclusion, not only taking part in a
live
performance can help people to have memorable memories but
TV-viewing
Correct your spelling
TV viewing
show examples
also
allows individuals to blow off some steam.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question's statement in your introduction. Clarify your stance clearly to ensure your viewpoint on the topic is unmistakable.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate transition phrases and synonyms to enhance the fluidity of your essay. This will improve reader engagement and understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Develop your main points further with more detailed examples and explanations to solidify your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and persuasive.
task achievement
Consider both sides of the argument more evenly to provide a more balanced discussion. This will enrich your analysis and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

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