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Band 2

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year before starting university.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #gap
About education, every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own customs. In some countries, parents often encourage their children
go
Correct your spelling
to
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traveling
Wrong verb form
travel
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 after finishing high school;
however
, some prefer their children keep studying. Let’s see what’s the advantages and disadvantages for
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
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 to do. If people choose to work or travel after graduating from high school, they may probably know more about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society or
this
 world. For working people, they can start
earing
Correct your spelling
earning
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 money and raise their families. Their economy can be independent which means they can decide the way to deal with their salary by themselves.
Also
, they can save money
as
Change preposition
on
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 the fee to go to university. As for those who choose to go
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, they can meet many strangers and view lots of beautiful scenes on the way they travel. What difficulties they meet in travel can make them become stronger.
However
, if they want to go
university
Change preposition
to university
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, after working or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, they may forget some
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 and their classmates.
Submitted by alperenyakut on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should state what you'll discuss, body paragraphs should elaborate on your points, and a conclusion should summarize your discussion.
cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'However,' 'On the one hand,'). This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task response
Address the task's question directly and ensure each paragraph introduces and elaborates on a specific point related to the advantages and disadvantages of a gap year. Use relevant examples to support your points.
content depth
Avoid general statements and make sure to provide specific examples and reasons to support your points. This makes your argument more persuasive and your essay more informative.
language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Using a variety of vocabulary correctly and ensuring grammatical accuracy can greatly improve your score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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