Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than working together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It cannot be denied that in schools and
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colleagues
colleages
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colleages,
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teachers teach individuals to motivate their selves for
the
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apply
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hard
work
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to make their personalities exceptional as compared to
the
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apply
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others,
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However
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However,
show examples
Use synonyms
team
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teamwork
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work
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is less
perferable
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preferable
instead
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of
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the pervious
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pervious
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previous
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assumption
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assumptions
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.
This
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phenomenon has its pros and cons,
as
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but as
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far as I am concerned, I believe that
benefits
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the benefits
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are
overwiegh
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overweigh
overweight
the drawbacks.
To begin
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with, It is irrefutable that individuals can only be successful if they have the courage to boost their inner power to become special in
this
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fast paced
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fast-paced
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life style
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lifestyle
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. Nowadays, Educational institutes focus on the personality development of the students which not only
create
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creates
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great
persons
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people
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but
also
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make
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makes
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an individual successful.
Furthermore
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, In
this
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cut-throat
competition
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competition,
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it is highly demanded that pupils should be inspired to
do
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apply
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work
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harder to make their desires
achieveable
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achievable
by their own strength as compared to the
team
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efforts. It is well documented that if an individual
have
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has
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the power to stand out
individully
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individually
in front of the whole world no one can beat him. on the
otherside
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other hand
, some people believe that
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team
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teamwork
show examples
work
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is more effective
to encourage
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in encouraging
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students to do hard
work
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for the benefit of every member because in a
team
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every member has
its
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a
show examples
different personality and talent.
Consequently
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, a combination of the intellectual bodies can do
extra ordinary
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extraordinary
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work
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which cannot be done by a single person but it can become a hurdle in the way of success if any one person from the group
do
Verb problem
makes
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little effort as compared to the others.
Therefore
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, it is more efficient
do
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to
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make their worth inspirational by doing hard
work
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and
become
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becoming
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a
successfull
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successful
sole. in conclusion, it can be analysed that a single effort is more profitable than
to
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working
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work
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in a group of people because without encouraging yourself no one can make others
to
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apply
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do their duties. Individual encouragement
make
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makes
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a person strong, inspirational, elite and more
successfull
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successful
instead
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of the group
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kkaur9391 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, placing your arguments in a logical order. Consider using more transitional phrases to improve the flow between sections.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay more effectively by summarizing key points and reiterating your position clearly. This will help underscore your message and encapsulate the essence of your essay.
task achievement
Avoid generalized statements and seek to back up your claims with specific examples or evidence. Specificity adds depth and credibility to your arguments, enhancing your essay's overall persuasiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • personal growth
  • competitive edge
  • work ethic
  • strive for
  • peer pressure
  • stress/anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • collaboration
  • critical thinking
  • professional environments
  • dishonest tactics
  • teamwork
  • interpersonal skills
  • educational collaboration
  • sense of community
  • shared goals
  • balance
  • mitigate
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