Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than working together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It cannot be denied that in schools and
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colleagues
colleages
Add a comma
colleages,
show examples
teachers teach individuals to motivate their selves for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard
work
to make their personalities exceptional as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others,
However
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However,
show examples
team
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teamwork
show examples
work
is less
perferable
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preferable
instead
of
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the pervious
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pervious
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previous
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assumption
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assumptions
show examples
.
This
phenomenon has its pros and cons,
as
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but as
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far as I am concerned, I believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
are
overwiegh
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overweigh
overweight
the drawbacks.
To begin
with, It is irrefutable that individuals can only be successful if they have the courage to boost their inner power to become special in
this
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
. Nowadays, Educational institutes focus on the personality development of the students which not only
create
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creates
show examples
great
persons
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people
show examples
but
also
make
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makes
show examples
an individual successful.
Furthermore
, In
this
cut-throat
competition
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competition,
show examples
it is highly demanded that pupils should be inspired to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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work
harder to make their desires
achieveable
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achievable
by their own strength as compared to the
team
efforts. It is well documented that if an individual
have
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has
show examples
the power to stand out
individully
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individually
in front of the whole world no one can beat him. on the
otherside
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other hand
, some people believe that
team
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teamwork
show examples
work
is more effective
to encourage
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in encouraging
show examples
students to do hard
work
for the benefit of every member because in a
team
every member has
its
Change the word
a
show examples
different personality and talent.
Consequently
, a combination of the intellectual bodies can do
extra ordinary
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extraordinary
show examples
work
which cannot be done by a single person but it can become a hurdle in the way of success if any one person from the group
do
Verb problem
makes
show examples
little effort as compared to the others.
Therefore
, it is more efficient
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
make their worth inspirational by doing hard
work
and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
sole. in conclusion, it can be analysed that a single effort is more profitable than
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
in a group of people because without encouraging yourself no one can make others
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do their duties. Individual encouragement
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
a person strong, inspirational, elite and more
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
instead
of the group
work
.
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task achievement
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • personal growth
  • competitive edge
  • work ethic
  • strive for
  • peer pressure
  • stress/anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • collaboration
  • critical thinking
  • professional environments
  • dishonest tactics
  • teamwork
  • interpersonal skills
  • educational collaboration
  • sense of community
  • shared goals
  • balance
  • mitigate
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