Some believe that studying at university or college is the best route to career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a debate over what is the best way to
future
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a
career
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, some saying that studying at
university
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is more vital, others argue that being employed after graduating from
school
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is a better route. In my opinion, studying at a highly educated
university
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can give us more opportunities for our
future
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profession.
To begin
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with, many people believe that going to
university
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provides better
career
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prospects, as they know they can get a lot of beneficial knowledge, qualifications and experiences. In most cases, people get well-paid and a more suitable job after graduating from their
university
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successfully.
For example
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, if someone graduated of the top 1000-ranked universities, they can be employed by well-known enterprises,
such
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as Tesla, Meta, Samsung, Apple and others.
Thus
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, universities and colleges offer higher education and opportunities for our
future
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work.
In contrast
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, some believe in their potential and skill;
thus
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, they prefer to get a job straight after
school
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. There can be several reasons for
this
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, but the main one of them might be that they have a particular skill which can help them to create their
future
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career
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without a
university
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.
For example
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, providing that some individuals know about a type of handicraft,
such
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as pottery and carpentry, they can work after
school
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.
Therefore
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, people can work with their knowledge and skills without studying at
university
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. All things considered,
while
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some individuals choose to start working immediately after high
school
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, I firmly believe that pursuing a
university
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education offers greater long-term benefits. It not only opens up more
career
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opportunities but
also
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helps individuals develop valuable skills needed in today’s job market.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to have clear topic sentences for each paragraph that tell the reader what the paragraph will be about.
task achievement
Make sure you provide detailed examples that support your main points more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar and punctuation, as some sentences are a bit unclear because of minor errors.
task achievement
You presented both views of the topic clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion strongly expresses your opinion clearly, which is good.
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