Some countries are struggling with an increase in crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #crime #rates #people #police #streets

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Crime incidence has increasingly risen in many countries, threatening the lives of countless people. There is a belief that employing more

police

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in surveillance is the only way to prevent individuals from committing crimes. Despite bringing about short-term benefits, I am apprehensive about

this

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decision. The increasing presence of

police

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undoubtedly contributes to reducing crime rates in the short run.

This

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is because

such

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people act as an embodiment of justice, and strict punishments directly deter those who tend to contravene the law and behave illegally.

Furthermore

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, those who are law-breakers opt for places or areas where the reach of law enforcement is weak enough to commit a serious

offense

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offence

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Therefore

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. Reinforcing the supervision of

police

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in crime-infested places, it can cause illegal

behaviors

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behaviours

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to plummet as these executions soon be detected. Take Rio de Janeiro,

for instance

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; thanks to initiatives of deploying more

police

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implemented by the government,

this

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policy culminates in peace for residents living in

this

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city.

However

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this

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policy demonstrates no prolonged efficiency. As there are no solutions to tackle the root cause of the crimes,

this

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social quo still proliferates when human resources of

police

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stations cannot afford to supervise all areas 24/7.

Thus

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, in lieu of allocating financial resources to

police

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reinforcement, the government should invent these monetary subsidies to address factors

such

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as poverty, lack of education, and mental health issues contributing to criminal

behaviors

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behaviours

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Additionally

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this

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approach to curtail crime can be counter-intuitive as

this

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raises a question about integrity. Numerous serious crimes that expose

police

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corruption are recorded around the world. People who want to infringe on a law bribe the

police

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to turn a blind eye, resulting in more criminal actions. In conclusion,

while

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leading to positive change immediately, the lack of sustainable effectiveness is the crucial reason why increasing

police

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patrolling is not necessary.

Hence

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, educational and social investment is the holistic approach to address

this

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situation.

Submitted by [email protected] on Sat Feb 24 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance your coherence and cohesion, aim for a more seamless transition between paragraphs. Try using linking phrases that not only connect ideas within paragraphs but also between them. This will make your essay flow more naturally and be easier to follow.

Task Response

In terms of task response, while you've covered the question well, integrating a wider range of specific examples and evidence would strengthen your argument. Consider including relevant statistics, studies, or historical events to support your points more robustly.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

tackle crime
crime prevention
law enforcement
root causes
community involvement
cooperation
innovative technology
crime rates
social programs
education
employment
support

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