Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is positive and negative development?

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Nowadays, the majority of

people

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prefer

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apply

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alternative treatments rather than consulting their doctors and these preferences can be perceived either as positive or negative developments. It is essential to analyze both sides of the coin to understand the broader impact on individuals and communities. On the one hand, with the increased number of

people

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, it is unrealistic to expect doctors to give attention to all their patients. The reasons,

such

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as insufficient hospitals and inadequate medical staff, pose obstacles to enhancing facilities in the medical sector. Especially,

people

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in developing countries face expensive medicines that they cannot afford. Another reason is related to environmental

concern

Fix the agreement mistake

concerns

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advocated by ecology activists.

For instance

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, the production of some medicines not only adversely affects the environment but

also

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impacts living creatures.

On the other hand

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, the overuse of herbal remedies may damage internal organs, potentially leading to the need for a kidney transplant.

Furthermore

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, the consumption of herbal products to which one is allergic can result in skin reactions. Another drawback of relying on alternative treatments is the difficulty in distinguishing well-intentioned practitioners from those with malicious intentions within

this

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field.

As a result

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, it makes

people

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susceptible to being deceived by these kinds of

people

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For instance

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, with the advancement of social media platforms, nowadays,

although

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influencers promote health products that are not reliable,

people

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who watch them tend to buy these products. In conclusion,

while

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the ongoing debate on

people

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's preferences for alternative remedies is widespread, I advocate the importance of striking a balance between the two treatment methods. In the view of my bias, it is neither a positive nor a negative development.

aleynacanacikelSat Feb 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider varying sentence structures to enhance readability and create a more engaging argument. This can involve employing complex and compound sentences more effectively.

task achievement

Ensure the essay prompt is fully addressed by discussing both sides of the argument more evenly and providing a clearer opinion in the conclusion.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. Providing concrete examples makes your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical or spelling errors, as they can slightly distract from your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is positive and negative development?

Your opinion

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

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