Topic: Some people believe that children should spend more time participating in physical activities rather than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, the rapid
development
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of digital technology has led to a dramatic increase in the amount of
time
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children
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spend playing
computer
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games
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.
While
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some people argue that
this
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form of entertainment is harmless, others believe that
children
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should devote more
time
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to physical
activities
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instead
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. I strongly agree with the view that physical exercise should take priority over
computer
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gaming, as it is essential for
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children’s
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physical
health
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, social
development
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, and long-term well-being. First and foremost, regular participation in physical
activities
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plays a crucial role in maintaining
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children’s
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physical
health
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. Outdoor sports
such
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as football, swimming, or cycling help strengthen muscles and bones
while
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improving cardiovascular fitness.
In contrast
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, excessive
time
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spent playing
computer
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games
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often results in a sedentary lifestyle, which may lead to
health
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problems
such
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as obesity and poor posture.
Moreover
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, prolonged screen exposure can negatively affect eyesight and sleep patterns.
Therefore
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, encouraging
children
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to engage in physical exercise is vital for their healthy
development
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. Another important benefit of physical
activities
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is that they promote social interaction and essential life skills. When
children
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participate in team sports or group
games
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, they learn how to cooperate with others, resolve conflicts, and develop communication skills. These experiences help build confidence and emotional intelligence.
On the other hand
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,
computer
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games
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are typically solitary
activities
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that may reduce opportunities for face-to-face interaction.
As a result
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,
children
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who spend too much
time
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gaming may struggle to develop strong social relationships.
Nevertheless
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, it would be unreasonable to completely dismiss the value of
computer
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games
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. Educational and strategy-based
games
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can enhance cognitive abilities
such
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as problem-solving, creativity, and critical thinking.
In addition
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,
computer
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games
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provide relaxation and entertainment, which are
also
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important for
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children’s
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mental
health
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.
For
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this
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reason, a balanced approach that includes both physical
activities
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and moderate gaming is preferable. In conclusion,
although
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computer
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games
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offer certain educational and recreational benefits, I firmly believe that
children
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should spend more
time
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engaging in physical
activities
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. Physical exercise not only improves
health
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but
also
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fosters social and emotional
development
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. A sensible balance between physical activity and limited screen
time
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would best support
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children’s
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overall
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growth.

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Task Response
Keep your view clear in each paragraph and restate it at the end of the essay.
Coherence
Use more linking words to help flow, such as firstly, also, however, therefore.
Content
Add a few more strong, specific examples to back ideas.
Style
Try to split long sentences into shorter ones for easier reading and check grammar.
Task Response
Clear and firm view on the topic.
Content
Good reasons about health and social life.
Coherence
Solid structure with introduction, body and conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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