The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

It is argued that governments should invest in
education
instead
of the
arts
. I completely agree with
this
point of view because
education
contributes to improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
technologies and
also
always is supported by citizens. Funding
education
encourages
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological advancement. The
arts
take
Verb problem
play
show examples
a crucial part in people`s cultural and social lives.
However
,
education
stimulates scientific and technological innovation, leading to the development of new industries and increasing a country’s competitiveness on the world stage. Investments in
research
and
education
can have a more direct impact on technological progress than investments in the
arts
. Unlike art, which can inspire or stimulate creativity,
research
and
education
often directly generate innovation. The results of scientific
research
can be used to create new technologies, improve processes and develop new industries.
In addition
, improving the quality of
education
in a country has usually widespread public
support
. Typically, investment in
education
has wider public
support
as it is perceived as a more direct and immediate investment in the future,
whereas
arts
budgets can be controversial in terms of their importance to society as a whole.
For example
, in the United States,
education
budgets often attract greater public
support
. Investments in
education
, especially at the higher
education
or
research
level, tend to receive more political and public
support
because they are considered key to innovation, economic growth and a country’s competitiveness. In conclusion, government spending should be on
education
rather than the
arts
. For one thing, more funds
education
Change preposition
for education
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
taken, more technologies can be created, and for another, people
support
always
such
kinds of improvements by authorities as compared with the
arts
.
Submitted by minhhoangduc34 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
When discussing your point of view, ensure to explore the counterargument. This provides a balanced perspective and helps in achieving a higher score in task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a variety of linking words and coherence markers (e.g., furthermore, on the other hand, accordingly) to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more real-world examples to solidify your arguments. Specific examples add depth to your essay and strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to paragraph structure. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and follow them with supporting sentences that develop the idea further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!