IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show information about consumer decisions regarding mobile phone purchases in two different countries.

The charts below show information about consumer decisions regarding mobile phone purchases in two different countries.
The graph provides information about 5 different causes for choosing a mobile phone in A and
B
Use synonyms
 countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that in
country
Use synonyms
 A, most people prefer using mobile phones
due to
Linking Words
 their price,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, the main reason for using mobile phones is their design. Moving to a detailed analysis, friends’ recommendations for making a choice mobile phone account for exactly a third of indicators in
country
Use synonyms
 A,
likewise
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure is pretty similar for
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, at 32%. The costs of mobile phones make the most considerable amount of people phones’ fan in
country
Use synonyms
 A,
this
Linking Words
 quota is 50%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 indicator is responsible for 9% of people, which is the lowest one in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
. With regard to remaining indicators,
figure
Add an article
the figure
show examples
 for design in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 is more preferred than others, at 40%,
while
Linking Words
 choosing for brand is under a fifth. In
country
Use synonyms
 A, these indicators
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 considered the lowest 2 rate, to elaborate, the former is 10%,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 letter is lower than
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 by a margin of 3 %.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words b, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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