In past people feel difference in foreign culture. Nowadays, this situation is changed. What are the causes of these chnages? Do the advantages outweigh the disadavtages?
In recent times, the differing nature of culture amongst
people
is seemingly lost. There are a number of reasons for this
. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
with, cultural differences were remarkable in the past. This
is because,
the world has become a global village Remove the comma
apply
due to
technological advancements. For instance
, improved transport systems have made it possible for a person living in Africa to buy clothes from Asia for use through Online shopping.
In addition
, social media has paved the way for people
to showcase their cooking skills where they organize tutorials on how to prepare a particular nation's food. Interested persons from around the world, can go by the same recipe to achieve similar or even the same taste from their home country.
There are a number of advantages to this
development. Firstly
, people
do not have to risk their lives travelling far and wide around the globe to have a taste of a particular country's delicacy. Secondly
, everyone whether poor or rich as long as they can afford an item of interest can purchase it from Online shopping at their own convenience rather than having to rely on people
journeying to their roots to bring their purchased items. Lastly
, teaching is easier now that information is easily accessible online. For example
, it is easier for students nowadays to comprehend foreign cultures than to cram them. This
is because most pupils can see foreign cultures being displayed on their screens through movies and YouTube channels. it has been reported this
way of learning is much better than the Storytelling mode in the past.
Despite the numerous advantages stated, the main drawback to culture being lost is, that we lose our individualism. It is a key feature of identity and living as one with no differences will make the future generation not appreciate the beauty of culture. That aside, because information is readily accessible anywhere, people
will not be motivated to travel and learn new things. This
will make business ventures such
as museums run at loss
.
Correct article usage
a loss
To conclude
, nowadays, the cultural differences amongst individuals are dwindling. The main cause is technology. I opine the benefits of this
outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by nmaureen03 on
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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. Your introduction nicely sets the stage, but a bit more detail on what causes and advantages you'll examine could clarify your focus.
Cohesion
Using varied connectors and transition phrases will greatly enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay shows good cohesion, experimenting with a wider range of expressions can add sophistication.
Supporting Examples
When providing examples or reasons, try to explore them in depth. Your essay benefits from specific instances, like the online shopping and social media influence on cultural interchange. Diving deeper into these examples can strengthen your argument.
Task Response
For a higher score in task achievement, directly address both parts of the question in your conclusion. Reiterating your stance on the causes of these changes and whether advantages outweigh disadvantages strengthens your argument's resolution.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and states a clear opinion, providing a good roadmap for readers.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples, such as online shopping and social media's role in cultural exchange, illustrates your points well.
Structure and Organization
Clear structure and logical organization throughout the essay help in conveying your arguments effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example