There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
In the contemporary world, we can find
a
various genres of Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
music
. However
it is often argued whether traditional Add a comma
However,
music
more essential than international Add a verb
music is
music was
music
that has spread around the globe. In this
essay, we will discuss the impact of music
on people
's lives and find out which type of music
holds greater significance.
Listening to music
is considered as
Change preposition
apply
a
one of the well-known ways to cope with anxiety and boost self-confidence. Change the article
apply
Moreover
, psychologists have the opportunity to treat mental disorders with the help of music
. It is believed that people
become more cheerful by turning on music
even in
boring occasions, as it makes them Change preposition
on
to
feel more relaxed. Change the verb form
apply
For instance
, music
is a kind of exercise to get fit or something in that ways
, because Fix the agreement mistake
way
while
listening to music
you make whole your body move in rhythm, burning calories.
Conventional music
plays more
crucial role than international Correct article usage
a more
music
for a nation as it connects people
with history. In addition
, the lyrics of the local music
gives
much more information about culture. Correct subject-verb agreement
give
Also
, it's funnier
and easier way to learn history by listening to Correct article usage
a funnier
music
rather than reading the tones of books. For example
, the song "Pedestal of Independence" allows young people
and adults to learn about how Kazakh heroes fought for the independence of the nation. Consequently
, it is seen as a way to not forget our ancestors and preserve independence by giving to the next generation.
In conclusion, music
is an essential part of today’s life. Also
, national music
is much more important among
other types of Change preposition
than
music
.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Develop a clear thesis statement in your introduction that addresses the question directly. Ensure your opinion on the importance of traditional music versus international music is explicitly stated.
task achievement
Expand your discussion by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Supporting your points with specific details will strengthen your argument and enhance your task achievement score.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by having clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that reflect the main idea you will discuss. This will improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help your essay to flow more smoothly and enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize the main points of your essay and reiterate your position clearly. This reaffirms the coherence of your argument and ensures a strong conclusion.