IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific researches, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Numerous
research
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 projects are conducted globally, and the findings of previous studies greatly aid present-day researchers. Despite the benefits of sharing
information
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, there is a debate about whether certain
information
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 is too critical or valuable to be freely disclosed in scientific
research
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, business, and academia. The acquisition of substantial data from participants holds several advantages. Many
individuals
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 assert that disseminating all useful
information
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 is crucial for advancing knowledge.
However
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, it is equally important for researchers and scientists to safeguard the privacy of the
individuals
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 under investigation, as their findings contribute to numerous scientific breakthroughs that benefit a wide population.
For instance
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, during the recent pandemic, scientists utilized data collection to develop antivirus remedies for affected patients.
Additionally
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, previous studies serve as valuable resources for business students who are learning the intricacies of conducting experiments and
research
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.
Conversely
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, some
individuals
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 are hesitant to share their
information
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, particularly in the current era of heightened online insecurity. The risk of identity theft is a significant drawback of extensive
information
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 sharing in
research
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.
For instance
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, many unsuspecting
individuals
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 have fallen victim to scammers who fraudulently obtain personal
information
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, including phone numbers, email addresses, and residential details, to commit financial crimes. These sophisticated scammers often assume false identities,
such
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 as bank staff or managers, and meticulously mimic the
behavior
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behaviour
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 of their targets to defraud them. In conclusion, I firmly assert that safeguarding personal privacy is paramount, as it is essential for maintaining individual well-being and security. In conclusion, striking a balance between sharing valuable
information
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 and protecting sensitive data is imperative to ensure the advancement of
research
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 and safeguard
individuals
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’ privacy and safety.

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introduction conclusion present
You should ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline the topic and summarize your argument. This will help improve the structure and clarity of your writing.
logical structure
Work on building a more logical flow within paragraphs and ensure a stronger connection between them. This can be achieved through the use of linking words and phrases that clearly indicate the relationship between ideas.
complete response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views presented in the prompt and providing your own opinion. Try to clearly explain the reasons behind each viewpoint and your stance.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity and depth in presenting your ideas. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and elaborate on it with relevant examples or explanations. This will make your argument more convincing.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic to support your points. This helps illustrate your argument and makes it more persuasive. Try to use examples that are unique and insightful.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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