IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries nowadays , consumers can go to supermarket and buy food produced all over the world Do you think it is positive or negative development?

In various countries these days,
people
Use synonyms
 can head to the store and purchase
food
Use synonyms
 that has been produced all over the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly believes that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
products
Use synonyms
 are sometimes better than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
Correct pronoun usage
local ones
show examples
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live far from their country can find the type of
food
Use synonyms
 that they like in another. One good reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 always look for the best quality when it comes to
food
Use synonyms
 . And many countries can provide better quality
products
Use synonyms
 because they specialise in that type of
food
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , supermarkets often look forward to selling these
products
Use synonyms
 because they get more profit from them than from the local
products
Use synonyms
 . A survey in Sunday Times
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
showed that more than 78% of supermarket customers prefer that the stores have a lot of worldwide
products
Use synonyms
. Another reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 who do not live in their country can purchase the
food
Use synonyms
 that they enjoy eating. Supermarkets provide them with the same
food
Use synonyms
 that they buy in their country . The
food
Use synonyms
 that they buy makes them feel better because it gives them a feeling of home. A study at Oxford University showed that foreign students who can buy their
food
Use synonyms
 in the U.K. have fewer mental health problems than other students who cannot . In conclusion , I think that the ability for stores to provide
food
Use synonyms
 from all over the world is a significant improvement because it not only benefits the
people
Use synonyms
 by satisfying them but
also
Linking Words
 benefits the stores economically.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address potential counterarguments to give a more balanced view.
Task Achievement
You clearly stated your opinion on the topic in the introduction.
Task Achievement
You presented good points about quality and emotional benefits of foreign food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: