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Writing Samples
Band 7

Economic growth is one way to measure a country’s success, but what else should we look at? Which do you think is the most important?

#growth #measure #country’s #success
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A variety of economic indicators
such
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 as gross domestic product have been used to measure one
nation
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’s
level
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 of development. It is true that these quantitative methods are efficient to adapt but
also
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 have drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine the various factors we can consider and explain why the
level
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 of citizens’ happiness is the most important. The scope of the economic market in a
nation
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 used to be regarded as the representation of prosperity since
people
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 believed that trade between locals or countries led to strong nations in which
people
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 could live successful lives.
However
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, the
success
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 of a
nation
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 is not symbolized only in an economic part. Even though a
nation
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 has developed economically, there is a possibility that
people
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 cannot live safely because of the threat of war.
Also
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, the gap between the rich and the poor might be severe, which results in deficits in infrastructure
such
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 as schools, electricity, and purified water in remote and rural areas. We cannot conclude that a
nation
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 with
this
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 circumstance is successful. I firmly believe that the
overall
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level
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 of satisfaction or happiness of
people
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 is the most crucial factor to consider in measuring the
nation
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’s
success
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.
Success
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 is not an objective but a subjective thing. Nobody can judge easily whether someone is successful or not. The nations are the same. If the
people
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’s average
level
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 of satisfaction is high, the country is successful no matter their economy is developing and still has a long way to be a developed country.
To conclude
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,
although
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 an economic approach is the easiest way to compare the countries’
success
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, qualitative factors
such
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 as the
level
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 of satisfaction of citizens are one of the most pivotal parts
to assess
Change preposition
of assessing
show examples
 nations.
Submitted by 0617crystal on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement that directly answers the question in your introduction to provide a clear direction for your essay.
task achievement
Expand your argument by including more detailed examples or data to support your points. While your essay provides a good overview, specific examples could enhance your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow. Use linking words or phrases to connect your ideas more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, make sure each paragraph deals with a separate aspect of your argument and that there is a logical progression from one idea to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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