IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Students should pay full cost for their own study because universities education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #universities #education #individuals #society
It is believed that learners should spend their own money on their personal
education
due to
 the benefits that the university provides focusing on them only
instead
 of society.
This
 author completely disagrees with
this
 statement as not every student can afford it for themselves and by investing money in them,they would be more likely to succeed. It is worth noticing that each and every student requires investment in order to attain a better
education
.Specifically, not every learner is wealthy and some face insufficient learning environments.
Therefore
, universities should assist their students in some aspects ,
for instance
,lower learning fees for potential students and allow scholarships.
This
 would significantly increase the quality of students learning and
hence
 would eventually enhance the reputation of the university and the society they live in. Another point worth considering is that there is a proportion of individuals who take advantage of these benefits for themselves without serving any
education
 purposes.
Thus
, universities would waste cost on learners who didn't improve themself in
education
 leading to failure which will affect the university. In conclusion,
while
 not all learners have the will to learn
therefore
 it would be wasting money to assist them,others with potential self-growth should have the benefit of investment in their
education
 to eventually be successful and improve society.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded discussion on the importance of financial investment in education and its benefits to both individuals and society. However, more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments would strengthen your task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce more varied conjunctions and discourse markers to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
To prevent confusion, ensure that your argument is consistently clear throughout the essay. Your conclusion should reflect the stance you've taken without introducing new perspectives that weren't fully explored.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a logical structure that effectively introduces, develops, and concludes your argument, which aids in achieving a high score for coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your disagreement with the statement, setting a clear direction for your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've successfully supported your main points with relevant arguments, which is crucial for both task achievement and coherence & cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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