IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The diagram below shows how paper is made and recycled.

The diagram below shows how paper is made and recycled.
#paper
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The given information illustrates the way in which
paper
Use synonyms
 is produced and how it is recycled after people use it. Generally speaking, the
paper
Use synonyms
 goes through 11 stages in the whole process which consists of plantation and
reconstructing
Replace the word
reconstruction
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. In the beginning,
the first step is
Linking Words
 thinning through radiata pine and
then
Linking Words
 put into a de-barking drum. After that, it will be processed by
chipper
Correct article usage
the chipper
show examples
. Before passing to
paper
Use synonyms
 making machine, the thermomechanical refiner will be involved.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
paper
Use synonyms
 becomes
product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
 like the newspaper. In the subsequent stage, the kerbside will be collected and fired.
Next,
Linking Words
the newspaper not only de-inking but
also
Linking Words
 cleaning and fine screening.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, thermomechanical and recycled pulp
mix
Wrong verb form
are mixed
show examples
 with water.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
paper
Use synonyms
 will be put into
paper
Use synonyms
making
Correct your spelling
paper-making
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 machine again. The process of the production of
paper
Use synonyms
 is linear. It involved multiple steps from making to recycling.
Submitted by callachan8 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words paper with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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