You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalising all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? You should write at least 250 words.
In the
last
decades, AI, modern technologies and gadgets especially smartphones have developed significantly. The
have got attractive features for different ages. Children are not the expectation. There are a number of strong arguments to support the idea that the decreasing amount of time that kids spend Correct your spelling
They
on
offline is dangerously alarming.
Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, the main cause of children dwelling too much on their phones is that algorithms control apps, social media and videos. In other words
, the app developers are skilled in keeping attention which can make people addictive
in order to make money. Kids are more likely to be attracted because of their natural curiosity. Replace the word
addicted
Moreover
, they may lack self-control and refuse to put their gadgets down to do their responsibility such
as studying, physical activity or engaging with their family members. If this
issue is not quickly tackled, it will lead to more serious damage, such
as a lack of self-regulation. Thus
, the overuse of smartphones has some impacts on their owners.
Furthermore
, a lot of articles have linked excessive phone use to decreased attention spans, difficulties with critical thinking and memory, a
Correct word choice
and a
declining
in academic performance and physical wellness. Replace the word
decline
In addition
, screens would harm children’s eyes. Researchers say that adolescents with low level
of activity or sport tend to be more brittle, easily get sick and Fix the agreement mistake
levels
also
having
a higher risk of obesity. Change the form of the verb
have
Hence
, еhe low physical strengths will slowly disrupt their long-term health condition, which is a higher risk to get
a chronic disease in the future.
In conclusion, I believe that there are positive aspects of Change preposition
of getting
development
of technologies, which can make our life easier, but the negative impact can not be disregarded. It is clear to me that moderation and parental control are crucial for ensuring a balanced use of smartphones by children.Add an article
the development
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task response
The essay doesn't directly answer the given prompt, which was about the legalisation of all drugs as a solution to the problem of illegal drugs. Instead, it discusses the effects of technology on children's lives. It's essential to closely read and address the specific task given.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. The essay could benefit from clearer connections and transitions between points, helping the reader follow the argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Include a brief introduction and conclusion that directly respond to the task's question. This will help frame your discussion and summarise your stance effectively.
task achievement
Use specific examples relevant to the topic to support your arguments. While some examples were mentioned, ensuring they're directly linked to your main points will strengthen your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?