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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views.

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Some
people
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 believe that studying at
university
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 or college is the best route to a successful
career
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,
while
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 others argue that it is better to start working immediately after finishing school.
Although
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 both options have their own advantages, I believe that obtaining a higher education is the more beneficial choice in the long term.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before presenting my opinion. On the one hand, entering the workforce straight after school can be a sensible decision for many young
people
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.
Firstly
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, they are able to earn a salary immediately, which allows them to become financially independent at an earlier age.
In addition
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, they gain valuable practical experience that cannot always be learned in a classroom.
For example
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,
people
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 who work in trades or family businesses often develop important technical and communication skills
while
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 avoiding the cost of
university
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 tuition.
As a result
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, they may establish successful careers without obtaining a degree.
On the other hand
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, attending
university
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 provides a wide range of benefits that often lead to better
career
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 opportunities.
Firstly
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, many professions,
such
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 as medicine, engineering, law, and teaching, require formal qualifications.
Furthermore
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,
university
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 students develop critical thinking, problem-solving, and research skills, all of which are highly valued by employers.
Moreover
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, graduates generally have access to higher-paying positions and greater opportunities for
career
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 advancement.
Therefore
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,
although
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 higher education requires both time and financial investment, it often offers greater rewards in the future. In conclusion,
while
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 starting work immediately after school can provide practical experience and financial independence, I believe that attending
university
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 is the better option for most
people
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.
Overall
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, the qualifications, knowledge, and personal development gained through higher education usually lead to a more stable, rewarding, and successful
career
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 in the long run.

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task response
Add one more clear real example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a little more why university is better for most people.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but one point in each body paragraph could be developed more.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more linking words to show steps in your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main point has a short explanation and one example.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraph order is good, but some sentences could link more smoothly.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic clearly.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start and at the end.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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