Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views.

There is a big discussion
whether
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about whether
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its
Correct your spelling
it's
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better to start your
post-graduet
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post-graduate
life as a university student or to start a
profesional
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professional
career
right after
the
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apply
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school.
This
essay will focus on reviewing both points of view. On
one
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the one
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hand, as a support for getting
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a bachelor
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bachelor
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bachelor's
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degree people argue that, it is
crusial
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crucial
for
successful
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a successful
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career
in a number of jobs to have a good education in your field of interest. We can look at lawyers, it is well known that clients tend to hire
a specialists
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specialists
a specialist
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with
degree
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degrees
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from
a
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apply
show examples
high ranking
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high-ranking
show examples
university
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universities
show examples
.
Also
just in order to start your path as an example surgeon you would need a PhD.
Moreover
, a lot of successful
enterpraniuers
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entrepreneurs
started
business
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businesses
show examples
at their alma mater, like
a
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apply
show examples
Mark Zukerberg, his platform Facebook
were
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was
show examples
created as a student network in his university.
On the other hand
, we have a strong opposition to that argument.
Firstly
, in
the
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apply
show examples
most
countres
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countries
education is not free,
student
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and student
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loans
together with
cost
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the cost
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of living are going up every year.
To
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At
show examples
the end of
traditional
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the traditional
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4 year
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4-year
show examples
academic path students end up in huge dept, that sometimes will be paid
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
to the end of
there
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their
show examples
career
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careers
show examples
.
Secondly
, there are a lot of highly paid jobs, that
does
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do
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not
requare
Correct your spelling
require
a PhD nesserely, like programmists, historians, politicians and many
other
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others
show examples
. As an
example
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example,
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most presidents of the USA
newer
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apply
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had a
bachelor
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bachelor's
show examples
degree in anything close to politics. Eisenhower
were
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was
show examples
a general before he took
the
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apply
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office, and Reagan was a famous actor.
Furthermore
, if you plan to go into business,
then
any college
whoud
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would
be just a waste of time,
becouse
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because
business
stategy
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strategy
depends is unique in every
sitiuation
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situation
and
you
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your
show examples
success in that field
higly
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highly
depend
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depends
show examples
on your luck and
imagenation
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imagination
, not on your diploma.
As
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In
show examples
a
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apply
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conclusion, I will
tell
Verb problem
give
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my personal opinion. I think both positions have a right to exist. If a
peson
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person
dreams about
career
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a career
show examples
in medicine or
engenering
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engineering
it is
neccesery
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necessary
to have a specific PhD, but if you want to start a company, or you have an interest in programming maybe it will be better to save your time and money and start to work right after the school.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay is well-organized. Each paragraph should deal with a single main idea, clearly introduced at the beginning and followed by supporting statements. For even better clarity, you might consider using more linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to keep your introduction and conclusion concise and to the point, directly addressing the task and summarizing your views clearly. This approach helps the reader to understand your position and the structure of your essay from the beginning.
task achievement
To further strengthen your essay, ensure that each argument or viewpoint you present is supported by specific examples or evidence. While you provided some examples, aiming for even more precise and varied evidence can significantly enrich your arguments.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the prompt, offering a balanced discussion of the two views before presenting your own opinion. Your conclusion can tie everything together more effectively by summarizing the comparative advantages or disadvantages in a succinct manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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