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Band 5

Some people think that robots are important for human's development. Other's think thta robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinon

#people #robots #development #thta #effects #society #opinon
Create
Wrong verb form
Creating
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robots
 is part of the technology, part of the future, and of course, creating
robots
 can be very important for
human's
Change noun form
human
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 development, but
in
Change preposition
at
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 the same time have negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
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 society. In my opinion, having
power
Add an article
the power
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 to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
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robots
 is amazing, is the next
spet
Correct your spelling
step
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 into the new future,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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 shows us that we really evolved and we are part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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 hand , there are some
people
 thinking that
robots
 are very important for
humans's
Change noun form
humans
show examples
 development and I agree.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 there are a lot of complicated jobs,like changing lights on a very
hight
Correct your spelling
high
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 building,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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put
people
's
life
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lives
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 in
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
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, or
for example
 in medicine, in a very difficult surgery when the precision of
robots
 can be more precise than ours. The great thing is, if anything bad happens with the
robots
, it will
bw
Correct your spelling
be
 very easy to fix them or to repair
Correct pronoun usage
them
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and
also
 use the same robot for different jobs, just by
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 new programs and
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 them new things.
On the other hand
,
robots
 can
also
 have negative effects on society , a lot of
people
 lose their jobs and are replaced by
robots
.
For example
, an easy job in the factory can be
Replace the word
easily
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easy
Change the word
easily
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 replaced by
robots
 because they do not need breaks, are faster than us and of course can work
Correct your spelling
nonstop
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non stop
Correct your spelling
nonstop
show examples
. If they suffer any errors in programing they can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
really
 hurt
people
, or do
someting
Correct your spelling
something
 different
that
Correct word choice
than
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 what
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 not supposed to do and there are a lot of
people
 thinking that one day
robots
 will take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 and they will control us. In conclusion,
robots
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 still something new, we still need to learn how to use them, how to
programing
Verb problem
program
show examples
yhem
Correct your spelling
them
 and make sure we can stop them if they will take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
.
Submitted by atomoiaga46 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. This means discussing both views comprehensively and providing a more detailed personal opinion. Incorporating a wider range of ideas and examples related to both the positive and negative aspects of robots would also help.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Use a clear paragraph structure with distinct introductory sentences for each paragraph. Additionally, employing a variety of linking words or phrases will enhance the flow of your essay.
General
Proofread your work for grammar and spelling errors to improve overall fluency and coherence. Avoid repeating the same ideas and strive for a wider range of vocabulary to express your thoughts more precisely and engagingly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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