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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

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Learning a foreign
language
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 in primary school as opposed to secondary
education
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 is a subject of debate among experts. Despite the initial challenges, I firmly believe that the advantages of commencing
language
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education
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 at an early age outweigh the drawbacks.
This
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 is primarily
due to
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 the long-term benefits it offers, aiding in both educational comprehension and future academic pursuits. Undoubtedly, grappling with a foreign
language
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 during the formative years can present immediate difficulties for young learners.
However
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,
this
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 early exposure serves as a solid foundation, facilitating a smoother transition to advanced
language
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 skills in later academic stages.
For instance
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, students enrolled in institutions offering
language
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 instruction at the elementary level demonstrate a stronger grasp of languages when they progress to secondary
education
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.
Conversely
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, those introduced to a new
language
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 at a later stage encounter greater obstacles.
Hence
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, initiating
language
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 studies in primary school yields superior results compared to waiting until secondary
education
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.
Moreover
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, mastering a foreign
language
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 from a young age proves advantageous for those aspiring to pursue
education
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 abroad. Take,
for instance
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, the requirement of achieving higher scores in standardized
language
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 proficiency tests like IELTS or PTE for admission to universities in English-speaking countries. Students exposed to
language
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 learning since elementary school tend to exhibit greater proficiency in these assessments, paving the way for smoother access to educational opportunities in foreign countries. In conclusion,
while
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 initiating foreign
language
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education
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 at the primary level may present initial challenges, the long-term advantages far outweigh these short-term hurdles. It not only facilitates easier comprehension and adaptation in subsequent educational phases but
also
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 opens doors for pursuing academic aspirations in foreign nations.
Hence
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, early
language
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education
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 serves as a valuable asset for students in achieving their academic and career aspirations.

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that each paragraph effectively addresses the prompt, fully elaborating on how early foreign language learning impacts future academic pursuits and educational comprehension. Consider introducing additional specific examples or case studies to further support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, your essay exhibits a well-structured flow of ideas. To further improve, consider varying your sentence structures and using more diverse transitional phrases between paragraphs. This will not only improve readability but also enhance the logical order of presenting your arguments.
Language
Remember to review your essay for any minor grammatical errors or inappropriate word choices. Although your essay is largely well-composed, maintaining vigilance for these small errors will ensure the highest level of language accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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