some people think that individuals are responsible for their own health but others believe that it is the government's responsibility. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals state that one's
health
condition is their own responsibility, therefore
, one should take measures to prevent illness and improve it. Whereas
, some people
argue that the government
plays a major role and they should take action in a way that the society is generally healthy.
From the first point of perspective, it is believed that everyone is responsible for their health
, which I completely agree.
Nowadays, there is so much information you can find whether in books or even social media Change preposition
with.
such
as Instagram or Tiktok
, where fitness, nutritionists, and Correct your spelling
TikTok
dieticionists
are a big thing. That meansCorrect your spelling
dieticians
,
everyone has access to information whether it is about eating healthy, losing weight, toning, gaining muscles, making protein shakes, smoothies or even what type of tea to drink for better sleep.
The point is Remove the comma
apply
although
the information is open and public to everyone, not all people
take these measures to improve their lifestyle and their habits. This
leads to a point that people
have free will and it is completely up to them in what lifestyle to engage in. If one is curious and has a
discipline and motivation to better their Correct article usage
the
health
and well-being, it is in their hands.
Another perspective is that the government
is responsible for the individual's health
and I think, it makes sense to some extent because the system such
as healthcare is majorly impacted by the government
's influence. Thus
, the government
should make sure that healthcare services are available or affordable to the general public so that it does not seem like a luxury but a basic human right.
Even, rules on banning electronic cigarettes or increasing the price help with the prevention of a high number of smokers and Hong Kong is a good example of that. The statistics show that there has been a decline in a
number of smokers these years compared to the past years.
Another thing is the public gym equipment that encourages adults and kids to go out for fresh air and make use of these exercises. Placing them in parks is Correct article usage
the
such
a brilliant idea that the HK government
implemented. Even seeing people
or old people
makes passing by individuals inspire and reflect on their habits. The accessibility, comfort and safety of hikes are other big things that can be done by the government
. When such
resources are available, it makes for individuals in society to take care of their health
easily.
In coclusion
, the perfect example is the combination of both, the individual's effort and will to try and take care of their Correct your spelling
conclusion
health
as well as
the government
's effort and emphasis on healthcare by providing a good system and accessible infrastructure. However
, in the end, it is up to a person to make use of such
benefits or just ignore them.Submitted by asllchkied on
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Introduction Improvement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your stance, adding a thesis statement could enrich this section.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Content Development
Deepen your analysis by providing more varied examples and evidences to support your discussion points.
Conclusion Enhancement
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Language Variation
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and vocabularies to enrich the expression of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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