IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people argue that working from home is better than working in an office. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that working from home is more beneficial than in an office.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement because it offers more flexibility and can provide them
financial
Change preposition
with financial
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 stability. Remote work has been increasing in today's world and it offers a lot of flexibility to employees and companies.
This
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 set-up gave more time to people. The time allotted by employees for commuting can now be used in preparing their children for school, or
this
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 extra time can be used in cooking or exercising.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19
pandemic
Add a comma
pandemic,
show examples
 most people worked from home and parents were able to help their children with their homework and prepare meals for them.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 it enhanced the bond of parents and their children.
Thus
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,
this
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 proves the benefits of working from home.
In addition
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 to that, it
also
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 helps the workers and
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 can help them achieve their financial goals. The employee no longer
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to spend money for gas or commuting. Companies will be able to save resources too because they will not be renting an office
,
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apply
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 and pay
other
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for other
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 utilities
such
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 as electricity and water. Those expenses tend to go higher depending on the size of the
comapany
Correct your spelling
company
.
For instance
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, most online businesses grew in the Philippines because they are not renting an office, they only use the internet in their house and
as a result
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, they were able to generate more income. In conclusion, remote work gives significant benefits to individuals and companies. It provides them
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
 flexibility and
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 them become financially stable.

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Introduction
Ensure the introduction sets the context for the essay clearly and succinctly. The introduction in your essay effectively introduces the topic but could be enhanced by more clearly stating your viewpoint.
Body paragraph
Develop your ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations. The examples you provide are relevant, but expanding them with more detail would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to a clear logical flow of ideas. Use transitional phrases and sentences to connect your paragraphs and main points. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, aim to summarize your main points concisely and reiterate your position on the topic. Your conclusion does this well, but making it more impactful by strongly restating your viewpoint could improve its effectiveness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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