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Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021.

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021.
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What has been depicted in the bar chart is the popularity of five celebrities who are active on one of the social media platforms, namely,
Instegram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
 from 2018 to 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2018,
although
Linking Words
 Selena Gomez had the most followers on Instagram,
this
Linking Words
 title was taken by Cristian
Ronaldo
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Cristian had the highest number of influences,
while
Linking Words
 that of the Rock was the least. In 2018, It
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 Selena Who was able to grasp
attention
Add an article
the attention
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 on Instagram, which is one of the social media feeds, who were above 100
million
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of the Rock was less than 100M.
In addition
Linking Words
, approximately 110 M of individuals sought
Ronaldo
Use synonyms
 and Ariana Grande
while
Linking Words
 Kylie was a close second at around 100
million
Use synonyms
. In 2021, about 310
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
 Cristin
Ronaldo
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 Selena was less
poplar
Correct your spelling
popular
show examples
 than
Ronaldo
Use synonyms
 by nearly fifty
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the number of individuals who followed Ariana and Kylie on Instagram
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 similar (250 M). And come to think of it, after
Ronaldo
Use synonyms
, the Rock was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place and the number of
people
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supported
Correct pronoun usage
who supported
show examples
 him exceeded 250
million
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ronaldo, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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