Some people believe raising the price of fuel is the greatest way to address global environmental issues. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, environmental
problems
are a huge part of people's lives. It is believed by some people that raising the expenses of fossil fuel can tackle these
kins
Correct your spelling
kinds
show examples
of issues
while
others disagree. I fully endorse the second attitude because of the negative effects on the economy and low-income families and the existence of some better solutions which I'm going to explain more about in the rest of
this
essay.
To begin
with, high prices of fossil fuels can negatively affect poor families.
For example
, some individuals have old
disel
Correct your spelling
diesel
trucks and don't have sufficient money to buy new ones. So, expensive fuel can deteriorate their financial condition.
Therefore
, their children and
wifes
Correct your spelling
wives
show examples
can
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
deprived of having an appropriate education which hinders the growth of
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
.
In addition
to not affording things that can improve the quality of their lives, sometimes it can collapse their families and lead to depression and other mental
problems
for members of society.
Besides
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial
problems
, there are other alternatives to encourage individuals to use other kinds of
cars
like electric ones. China,
for instance
, decided to reduce the price of electric
cars
and electricity to entice society away from buying gasoline
cars
which led to its status as the country with the most electric
cars
on the road in 2023.
Hence
, lowering the cost of electric vehicles can
can
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
be an important step toward becoming carbon neutral till 2050.
Additionally
, it can
also
contribute
low-income
Change preposition
to low-income
show examples
members of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
less on transportation and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
more money for other important issues.
To conclude
, there is an ongoing controversy about whether governments should increase the price of gasoline or not. I oppose
incraesing
Correct your spelling
increasing
the price of gasoline because of
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
problems
it can cause for poorer members of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
and better solutions like reducing the expense of electric vehicles which are more efficient and helpful for both humans and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Be sure to directly address the task. While you mentioned that raising fuel prices is not an effective solution to global environmental issues, ensure that your response fully addresses why it's not the best method and explore both sides of the argument more deeply for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main points by more directly linking them back to the question. Make sure that each paragraph clearly supports your argument in relation to the impact on environmental issues.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is commendable. However, make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are both strong and directly relate to the topic at hand. Restate your thesis in the conclusion and briefly summarize the main points of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use specific examples to support your claims. While you mention the situation in China regarding electric cars, further details or additional examples could strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • fossil fuels
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • greenhouse gases
  • emissions
  • economically viable
  • public transportation
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon taxes
  • inflationary pressures
  • alternative energy sources
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable practices
  • climate change
  • economic disparities
  • innovation in technology
  • global warming
What to do next:
Look at other essays: