Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Wealthy
countries
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tend to grant
money
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to less-developed
countries
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in order to solve poverty,
however
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, the outcome is unsatisfactory.
Thereby
Rephrase
Therefore
show examples
,
this
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prompt suggests that other kinds of help should be given to address
this
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issue. I personally agree with the statements and
this
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essay will elucidate more arguments to back
this
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prompt. I am of the opinion that
money
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can solve the penury in a nation, as
money
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can afford the residents many facilities to enhance their
lives
Change the noun form
life
show examples
qualities.
Nevertheless
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, in several
countries
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, the actualisation is not as straightforward as it might seem. Abundant
money
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is not a single key to mitigate destitution,
hence
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, it is essential to offer additional solutions. I hold the view that providing the inhabitants with employment sectors is necessary, with the aim of
further
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earning
money
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for the next chapters of life. Granting
money
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to poor
countries
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is not sufficient,
due to
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the limited amount of
money
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. By way of illustration,
money
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can run out quickly if the person does not have a stable job to earn income and maintain the
money
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. Opening massive job markets for the citizens facilitates them with continuous wages that can foster their well-being,
thus
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profiting the
country
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with high annual per capita salaries as well.
Additionally
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, it is
also
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crucial for the
country
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to manage the
money
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that they have received wisely. Building ample outstanding infrastructures would be advantageous in advancing the state of the
country
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, resulting in shaping the
country
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to become more developed. Ultimately, it is vital to employ
this
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money
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for the sake of residents, ensuring that they have stable earnings monthly.
Furthermore
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, it is
also
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critical for the
country
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to establish prominent establishments for the surroundings.
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Task Achievement
To further improve your essay, consider integrating more specific examples or case studies from real-world scenarios to reinforce your arguments. This could involve mentioning specific countries where alternative forms of aid have been successful, or detailing specific projects that have led to sustainable development.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, focusing on refining the transition between paragraphs could enhance the flow of your argument. Employing a wider range of linking phrases could improve cohesion and make your argument more compelling.
General
Exploring a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, especially synonyms for key terms, could make your essay even more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear argument that is supported by relevant points and illustrations.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have demonstrated a strong ability to structure your essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion, and well-organized paragraphs that support your main points.
Overall Essay Strength
Your stance is clear throughout the essay, and you have developed your argument in a way that is both coherent and persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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