Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Wealthy
countries
tend to grant money
to less-developed countries
in order to solve poverty, however
, the outcome is unsatisfactory. Thereby
, Rephrase
Therefore
this
prompt suggests that other kinds of help should be given to address this
issue. I personally agree with the statements and this
essay will elucidate more arguments to back this
prompt.
I am of the opinion that money
can solve the penury in a nation, as money
can afford the residents many facilities to enhance their lives
qualities. Change the noun form
life
Nevertheless
, in several countries
, the actualisation is not as straightforward as it might seem. Abundant money
is not a single key to mitigate destitution, hence
, it is essential to offer additional solutions. I hold the view that providing the inhabitants with employment sectors is necessary, with the aim of further
earning money
for the next chapters of life. Granting money
to poor countries
is not sufficient, due to
the limited amount of money
. By way of illustration, money
can run out quickly if the person does not have a stable job to earn income and maintain the money
. Opening massive job markets for the citizens facilitates them with continuous wages that can foster their well-being, thus
profiting the country
with high annual per capita salaries as well.
Additionally
, it is also
crucial for the country
to manage the money
that they have received wisely. Building ample outstanding infrastructures would be advantageous in advancing the state of the country
, resulting in shaping the country
to become more developed.
Ultimately, it is vital to employ this
money
for the sake of residents, ensuring that they have stable earnings monthly. Furthermore
, it is also
critical for the country
to establish prominent establishments for the surroundings.Submitted by syarahfatiha321 on
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Task Achievement
To further improve your essay, consider integrating more specific examples or case studies from real-world scenarios to reinforce your arguments. This could involve mentioning specific countries where alternative forms of aid have been successful, or detailing specific projects that have led to sustainable development.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, focusing on refining the transition between paragraphs could enhance the flow of your argument. Employing a wider range of linking phrases could improve cohesion and make your argument more compelling.
General
Exploring a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, especially synonyms for key terms, could make your essay even more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear argument that is supported by relevant points and illustrations.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have demonstrated a strong ability to structure your essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion, and well-organized paragraphs that support your main points.
Overall Essay Strength
Your stance is clear throughout the essay, and you have developed your argument in a way that is both coherent and persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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