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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, there are many individuals who wants to self-employed. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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In the modern world, many
employees
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 want to be entrepreneurs. Because they believe
that is
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 better than being an employee in terms of free
time
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 and can
control
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 their lives. In
this
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 essay, I will compare
about
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apply
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the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed.
To begin
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 with, the drawbacks are entrepreneurs. First of all, being self-employed can't fixed salary or can't
control
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 income. In the case of freelancers depict that their income depends on the number of their customers.
In addition
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, many freelancers have health problems from working hard and less rest. Because they need to make more money. Include major problems with financial contracts.
For instance
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, their payment can be used for making financial contracts in many countries. The present-day freelancers' jobs market has expanded resulting in difficulties getting a job.
In contrast
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, self-employed have flexible
woking
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working
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time
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 since
this
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 benefits people who can develop their skills and can expand their business based on their plans. They can
control
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 their working
time
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 and they would have to
control
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 their leisure
time
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 to relax or enjoy their hobbies.
Furthermore
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, they can meet with new people rather than work like
employees
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 which improves their social abilities. Sometimes they can enhance their business from individuals to companies by recruiting
employees
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 and making more income than
employees
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 it is undeniable that being a self-employed or entrepreneur can make more money than
employees
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.
Moreover
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, they can
control
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 their working
time
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. I believe
due to
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 the
last
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 statement that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

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Introduction/Conclusion Clarity
Make sure to clearly introduce the topic and your viewpoint in the introduction. A thesis statement summarizing your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages would make your stance clearer.
Relevance to Prompt
Ensure consistency in your argument by closely linking your examples and explanations to the essay question. This will help maintain relevance throughout your essay.
Logical Structure and Linking
Improve coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by detailed examples or explanations. Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas.
Support and Development
Enhance your task achievement by including more specific examples and comprehensive explanations to support your points. This will make your argument more persuasive and detailed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Flexibility
  • Work-life balance
  • Fulfilling
  • Directly benefit
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Steady income
  • Burden
  • Expertise
  • Accounting
  • Healthcare
  • Retirement plans
  • Isolation
  • Camaraderie
  • Workplace environment
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