Scientists tell us some activities are good for health, and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

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Introduction

Many people do not follow the instructions of prominent scientists about a healthy lifestyle,

thus

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, reducing their lives drastically. In

this

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essay, I will outline some reasons for

such

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a phenomenon, followed by possible measures to prevent

this

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spread of unscrupulous behaviours.

Body paragraph 1

To start with, I believe that most individuals worldwide are not literate enough about the topic, so they do not know many negative consequences of their actions.

For instance

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according to

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the statistics, smoking decreases a human’s lifespan by a

third,

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however

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, only a few know

this

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information. There is no denying the fact that if more communities had told

this

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rate to their relatives and friends, the problem of smoking would have been eliminated.

Additionally

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, some researchers underestimate the strength of human habits. I suppose it is usually complicated to fight addiction without any support provided by governments or non-profit organizations.

Body paragraph 2

To address the issue, some vital solutions can be implemented.

Firstly

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, I think the national governments should participate in alleviating

this

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challenge by offering a host of free services for those who are in need. These measures include both preventing activities

such

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as free yoga and sports clubs

as well as

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assistance to communities who are trying to cope with their problems. As an illustration, in the Russian Federation, there are many rehabilitation centres for individuals with drug addiction, which heal thousands of citizens annually.

Besides

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, the education systems all over the world should promote healthy lifestyles from early adolescence.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I think the public tends to break some beneficial rules because it does not predict any bad consequences and cannot overcome its unhealthy habits personally. To tackle these issues, the government authorities need not only to implement various assistance services but

also

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to reshape the structure of education.

n.chubukina21

Jan 5, 2025

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development

Try to delve deeper into the causes of unhealthy behaviors. Discuss psychological and social factors in more detail to strengthen your argument.

conclusion

While the conclusion is strong, aim for a more concise restatement of the main points for improved clarity.

development

Ensure each main idea is fully elaborated with explanations or consequences. This helps increase task achievement and makes arguments more convincing.

structure

The essay has a clear structure with an effective introduction and conclusion.

examples

The use of specific examples, such as rehabilitation centers in Russia, enhances the task response by providing real-world context.

coherence

Coherent flow of ideas, ensuring that each paragraph follows logically from the previous one.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
chemical reactions
dependency
social and cultural norms
convenience
accessibility
education and awareness campaigns
temptations
implementing policies
taxing
supportive environment
accountability
unhealthy habits

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