The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Many contend that securing financial stability is essential for
individuals
of all ages. I am generally in agreement with this
contention though I would concede that saving money can be taken to illogical excesses.
Undue emphasis on saving prioritizes satisfaction in a possible future over enjoyment of the present moment. In most countries, individuals
begin to save and plan for retirement as young adults. This
approach means that by the time they have enough time to enjoy themselves, they are likely older, unhealthy, and less capable of living an active life
. A person who saves for a comfortable retirement by abstaining from travel, going out with friends regularly, and spending on luxuries might discover later in life
that a sizeable savings
account is no substitute for a full life
. However
, this
assumes an extreme approach to saving that is
rare for the vast majority of people who can typically balance basic fiscal responsibility with freer spending habits.
Moreover
, saving money allows individuals
of all ages to safeguard the flexibility to pursue a variety of passions in life
. Those who have not inherited generational wealth and do not commit themselves to saving, will almost undoubtedly have to work long hours for many years. Yet, if a worker slowly accumulates savings
then
that allows them to make investments and generate passive income streams. These alternative ways of earning money can give them options in life
. They might decide to quit or work fewer hours and pursue a passion project. They might also
be more inclined to be entrepreneurial or adventurous in their choice of vocation. All these options lead to a richer and more varied life
that contrasts markedly with working diligently towards retirement.
In conclusion, despite the possible risks of fixating on savings
to the detriment of quality of life
, there is value in saving wisely for all individuals
. These savings
will likely vary in size depending on the needs and circumstances of each person.Submitted by sreejas0104 on
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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to validate and illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the topic, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported and elaborated upon, showing a deep understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, framing the essay nicely and summarizing the key points made.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite