Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays the law is changing for those who commit a crime. It used to be stronger and there were severe sentences. Now, the punishment is less physical and work communities are suggested. Some people consider that if someone is a lawbreaker

as a result

Linking Words

they should be taken to jail

while

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others say that it depends on the range or the level of how

this

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breaker is classified and

instead

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choose another type of penalty. In

this

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essay, I will support each statement and give my point of view. To start with, those who believe all lawbreakers should be imprisoned argue that sending criminals to

prison

Use synonyms

is an effective way to prevent future crimes. Imprisoning those who break the law reinforces that

such

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actions have consequences.

For instance

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, any who decides to break the law would think twice before committing any assault. It would help to reduce crime and violence in a city.

However

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, many people think that

instead

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of sending lawbreakers to

prison

Use synonyms

, they can benefit the community by punishing them with other better alternatives. Rather than simply warehousing criminals together in

prison

Use synonyms

, requiring them to do constructive work

such

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as cleaning up public spaces or assisting the elderly can even instil positive behaviour.

For example

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, a person who can see how they can collaborate to make a place better and help in a healing process would notice the impact of his/her actions in the surroundings helping them to grow and change.

To sum up

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, Strict

prison

Use synonyms

is not the only way to deliver justice. There are other alternatives like community service and rehabilitative programs should

also

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be considered, especially for youth and first-time offenders convicted. As far as I am concerned, justice can be served through both imprisonment and rehabilitative community service, with the goal being to improve behaviour.

Andrea BarretoTue Feb 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and clearly states your position. While you've mentioned that you will support each statement and give your view, clarifying your stance early on will make for a stronger introduction.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make your paragraphs more cohesive by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. While you did a good job of organizing your paragraphs, using phrases like "On one hand...On the other hand," or "While it is true that…, it is also true that…" could enhance clarity and flow.

Task Achievement

Expand on your examples by providing more details or adding specific scenarios to illustrate your points better. While you mention examples such as assisting the elderly or cleaning public spaces, adding real-world outcomes or statistics could strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Consider providing a more detailed conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also reiterates your own stance more strongly. This will ensure that your view is clear and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Incarceration
Deterrent
Violate
Societal norms
Public safety
Rehabilitation
Recidivism
Reintegrate
Justice system
Punishment
Community service
Skills training
Social problems
Reform
Exacerbate

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Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people prefer to live alone. Others enjoy sharing a house with family or friends. Do the advantages of living with others outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?