Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays the law is changing for those who commit a crime. It used to be stronger and there were severe sentences. Now, the punishment is less physical and work communities are suggested. Some people consider that if someone is a lawbreaker
as a result
they should be taken to jail while
others say that it depends on the range or the level of how this
breaker is classified and instead
choose another type of penalty. In this
essay, I will support each statement and give my point of view.
To start with, those who believe all lawbreakers should be imprisoned argue that sending criminals to prison
is an effective way to prevent future crimes. Imprisoning those who break the law reinforces that such
actions have consequences. For instance
, any who decides to break the law would think twice before committing any assault. It would help to reduce crime and violence in a city.
However
, many people think that instead
of sending lawbreakers to prison
, they can benefit the community by punishing them with other better alternatives. Rather than simply warehousing criminals together in prison
, requiring them to do constructive work such
as cleaning up public spaces or assisting the elderly can even instil positive behaviour. For example
, a person who can see how they can collaborate to make a place better and help in a healing process would notice the impact of his/her actions in the surroundings helping them to grow and change.
To sum up
, Strict prison
is not the only way to deliver justice. There are other alternatives like community service and rehabilitative programs should also
be considered, especially for youth and first-time offenders convicted. As far as I am concerned, justice can be served through both imprisonment and rehabilitative community service, with the goal being to improve behaviour.Submitted by Andrea Barreto on
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Task Achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and clearly states your position. While you've mentioned that you will support each statement and give your view, clarifying your stance early on will make for a stronger introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make your paragraphs more cohesive by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. While you did a good job of organizing your paragraphs, using phrases like "On one hand...On the other hand," or "While it is true that…, it is also true that…" could enhance clarity and flow.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more details or adding specific scenarios to illustrate your points better. While you mention examples such as assisting the elderly or cleaning public spaces, adding real-world outcomes or statistics could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Consider providing a more detailed conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also reiterates your own stance more strongly. This will ensure that your view is clear and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
