IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You're planning to go and study English at a school overseas you would like some information about their courses. Write a letter the school. In your letter ask about school. Say what kind of accommation you want. Mention any special requests you have (for example diet)

#re #study #english #school #information #courses #accommation #requests #diet
Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing you is Soon, I
go
Wrong verb form
am going to
show examples
 study English at a
school
 overseas. I want any special
your
Change preposition
at your
show examples
school
. My name is Tom I ask
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 about the
school
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 information there are extremely large
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
,
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
 pool and better
room
 for education at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
school
.
Besides
 that, what your
school
 there is very library for pupils.
Furthermore
, I
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 choose
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
show examples
, great and superb
room
 because I
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
study every day and I like
school
 overseas. So, I must
fine
Correct your spelling
find
show examples
room
 for my education.
Moreover
, I tell
some
Correct pronoun usage
you some
show examples
 requests.
For instance
,
this
 request I
walking should
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
 every week and I
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 wear different clothes for
school
.So, I do not
must
Verb problem
have
show examples
 some
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
. I
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 wake up every time in the morning. I am looking forward
your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
 answer in the near future. Yours faithfully, Tom Smith.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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logical structure
Consider organizing your letter into clear paragraphs where each paragraph focuses on a specific point or request. This will help in making your letter more logical and easier to follow.
greeting and closing
Use a formal greeting and closing for a formal letter. Instead of 'Dear Sir or Madam,', consider 'Dear Sir/Madam,' and ensure the closing is appropriately formal, e.g., 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your full name.
single idea per paragraph
Make sure to include one main idea per paragraph for clearer communication. This approach helps in organizing your thoughts and requests effectively.
complete response
Ensure that your letter fully addresses the task by providing specific information requested in the prompt. Include details about your study plans, accommodation preferences, and special requests in a more structured way.
suitable writing tone
Use a tone that is suitable for a formal letter. This includes proper salutations, polite language, and a structured layout of the letter. Avoid casual expressions and maintain a respectful tone throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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