Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give death penalty. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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People
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's safety is an important matter for governments and society, and in order to achieve that it is necessary to reduce
crime
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. Many
people
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believe that the
death
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penalty
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is the key to containing criminal actions,
while
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others think there are better alternatives to solve the problem,
for instance
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through teaching values inside prisons or schools. In my opinion, the governments should face the
crime
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problem with more efforts and they should introduce new reforms.
However
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, I firmly believe that the
death
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penalty
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should be abolished. All over the world, some
people
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believe in capital punishment as a strong instrument to reduce
crime
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. Despite
this
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general belief, I think that one can choose who needs to live or who needs to die, even if you are a murderer.
Furthermore
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,
this
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punishment shares a bad teaching, founded on non-forgiveness, leaving no chance to work on himself and to try to be better. With the
death
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penalty
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, we return back to Middle-Age and the law of “eyes for eyes, teeth for teeth”. History gives us the chance to do better and to improve ourselves, so we should go
further
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and not come back to our past tracks.
Instead
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of consolidating past laws, the institution should work on finding alternative solutions.
First,
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they can introduce new rehabilitation forms inside the prisons,
as
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for
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instance human values teaching –
such
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as respect and kindness – or relationships teaching – to teach how to develop relationships with someone. The objective of the prison should be becoming better than before or working on themselves.
Finally
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, I suggest a prevention campaign from the beginning, for children and inside the High Schools. We need to suggest to the new generations how to stay outside the
crime
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life, perhaps through the help of psychologists and introducing proper learning lessons. Some
people
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believe in
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death
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the death
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penalty
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as a way to prevent
crime
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and build a safer future.
On the other hand
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, there are other
people
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who insist on introducing other systems to achieve the same result. I agree with
this
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last
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position, and I find rehabilitation and teaching the most powerful instruments to keep our cities safe from crimes.

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task achievement
While you have presented a clear argument and your own opinion, ensure that your main points are well-supported with detailed examples or evidence to improve clarity and depth.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and linking words to enhance the flow of ideas, making connections between paragraphs and ideas clearer.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and states your opinion, which provides a solid foundation for the essay.
task achievement
You successfully present both views on the death penalty and alternatives, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and engaging with opposing opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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