IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the consumption of wheat, rice, maize in 4 different countries.

The table below shows the consumption of wheat, rice, maize in 4 different countries.
The table depicts
wheat
Use synonyms
,
rice
Use synonyms
, and
maize
Use synonyms
 consumption in
Cambodia
Use synonyms
,
Poland
Use synonyms
, Egypt, and Mexico per
person
Use synonyms
 each day.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Cambodia
Use synonyms
 has the highest
rice
Use synonyms
 consumption, Egypt consumes
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 portion of
wheat
Use synonyms
, and
maize
Use synonyms
 is consumed the most in Mexico. Meanwhile,
Poland
Use synonyms
,
Cambodia
Use synonyms
, and
Poland
Use synonyms
 have the lowest consumption of
rice
Use synonyms
,
wheat
Use synonyms
, and
maize
Use synonyms
 respectively. Each
person
Use synonyms
 in
Cambodia
Use synonyms
 eats 1445
rice
Use synonyms
calories
Use synonyms
perday
Correct your spelling
per day
, 103
calories
Use synonyms
 of
maize
Use synonyms
, and only 18
calories
Use synonyms
 are consumed by eating
wheat
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Egypt consumes the highest
Use synonyms
calories
Correct quantifier usage
number of calories
show examples
 from
wheat
Use synonyms
, with a rate of 1095, followed by
maize
Use synonyms
 at 578, and
rice
Use synonyms
 at 501.
Poland
Use synonyms
 consumes the most
calories
Use synonyms
 from
wheat
Use synonyms
, with 865
calories
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 19
calories
Use synonyms
 are from
rice
Use synonyms
, and no
maize
Use synonyms
calories
Use synonyms
 are consumed.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Mexico becomes the highest
maize
Use synonyms
 consumer, with
a the
Choose an article
a
the
show examples
 number standing at 1083, followed by
wheat
Use synonyms
 and
rice
Use synonyms
 at 275 and 57
calories
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words wheat, rice, maize, cambodia, poland, person, calories with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: