IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#summarise #weight #measurements #people #charlestown #information #features #comparisons
The bar charts provide information about the
weight
 investigation, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 categorized
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 four types of
weight
 measurement in Charlestown.
This
 was
also
 evaluated in different age ranges in 1995 and 2015. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is evident that the youth had fitting
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 in both years,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
 was not the same for the elderly. To put it differently, an ideal
weight
 did not include more old people.
To begin
, what stands out from the bar chart in 1995,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 populated part of each aged interval was composed of ideal
weight
, in which the significant part belonged to 20-29. In comparison with overweight,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slimness is ranked second in the following.
Moreover
,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with other ages, elderly locals were slim. In terms of the most remarkable part of the bar chart in 2015, averagely the highest type’s percentage of
weight
 was fitting, which consisted of the 20-29
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
 range
as well as
 the same for 1995.
On the contrary
, the lowest of the same type was composed
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 elderly individuals.
In addition
, the outstanding point is that the tendency to obesity
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 as long as
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in comparison with 1995, it skyrocketed.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words weight with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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