Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view.
There is an ongoing debate regarding
arts
. Some individuals believe that the Correct article usage
the arts
constitution
is wasting a lot of Capitalize word
Constitution
money
on arts
and that money
would
be used Verb problem
should
at
different areas. In my opinion, I agree with Change preposition
in
this
view to a large extent. My opinion is further
elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and examples.
There are
Change the verb form
is
myriad
of reasons behind my statement. As I Add an article
a myriad
am fully agree
with Change the verb form
fully agree
this
viewpoint the foremost point is that, the money
can be used to develop our nation . For instance
, a large number of tourists visit our country
due to
its beauty , but they are unhappy because the roads and highways are very poorly constructed and they face a lot of problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
due to
this
. So , the authorities should constuct
better roads and highways to increase the number of visitors which ultimately Correct your spelling
construct
conduct
rise
the economy of a Correct your spelling
raise
country
.
Secondly
, the money
can be used to constuct
schools and hospitals in villages. As in rural Correct your spelling
construct
areas
there are no good schools and hospitals. So, the authorities should build these in order to give better education Add a comma
areas,
on
to the students in rural areas and by building Change preposition
apply
new
Add an article
a new
hospital
with Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
Correct article usage
the lastest
lastest
equipment more and more people can be saved.
A lot of individuals Correct your spelling
latest
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
disagrer
with the statement. They believe that Correct your spelling
disagree
money
which is provided to preserve art is not wasted. For example
, an
old and historical art is like a Correct article usage
apply
tresure
. Any nation 's worth is determined by its history and traditional Correct your spelling
treasure
arts
. So , the government should spend money
on arts
to preserve it as it is pride
of any Add an article
the pride
country
To sum up
, there are numerous of
points like Change preposition
apply
further
developing the country
and constructing new schools and hospitals should be done with the money
wasted on arts
by authorities. So , I agree with the statement with
a great extent .Change preposition
to
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear, logical structure throughout your essay. While your essay has a generally good layout, further emphasize transitions between paragraphs for smoother progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your topic and provide a conclusion that summarises your main points more effectively. Although your essay has an introduction and conclusion, enhancing them for clarity and impact will improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed, elaborated examples. You've used examples, but they could be further expanded upon to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Respond completely to all aspects of the prompt. You've addressed the prompt, but include more exploration or discussion of alternative views for a fully rounded response.
task achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas for a more comprehensive argument. Some of your points could be explained more thoroughly to enhance understanding and engagement.
task achievement
Use specific, relevant examples to support your points. While you have included examples, ensuring they are closely tied to your arguments will make your essay more compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.