Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view.

#people #government #money #arts

There is an ongoing debate regarding

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

. Some individuals believe that the

constitution

Capitalize word

Constitution

show examples

is wasting a lot of

money

arts

and that

money

would

Verb problem

should

show examples

be used

Change preposition

show examples

different areas. In my opinion, I agree with

this

view to a large extent. My opinion is

further

elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and examples. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

myriad

Add an article

a myriad

show examples

of reasons behind my statement. As I

am fully agree

Change the verb form

fully agree

show examples

with

this

viewpoint the foremost point is that, the

money

can be used to develop our nation .

For instance

, a large number of tourists visit our

country

due to

its beauty , but they are unhappy because the roads and highways are very poorly constructed and they face a lot of

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

due to

this

. So , the authorities should

constuct

Correct your spelling

construct

conduct

better roads and highways to increase the number of visitors which ultimately

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the economy of a

country

Secondly

, the

money

can be used to

constuct

Correct your spelling

construct

schools and hospitals in villages. As in rural

areas

Add a comma

areas,

show examples

there are no good schools and hospitals. So, the authorities should build these in order to give better education

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to the students in rural areas and by building

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

with

Correct article usage

the lastest

show examples

lastest

Correct your spelling

latest

show examples

equipment more and more people can be saved. A lot of individuals

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

disagrer

Correct your spelling

disagree

with the statement. They believe that

money

which is provided to preserve art is not wasted.

For example

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old and historical art is like a

tresure

Correct your spelling

treasure

. Any nation 's worth is determined by its history and traditional

arts

. So , the government should spend

money

arts

to preserve it as it is

pride

Add an article

the pride

show examples

of any

country

To sum up

, there are numerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

points like

further

developing the

country

and constructing new schools and hospitals should be done with the

money

wasted on

arts

by authorities. So , I agree with the statement

with

Change preposition

show examples

a great extent .

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Tue Feb 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear, logical structure throughout your essay. While your essay has a generally good layout, further emphasize transitions between paragraphs for smoother progression of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Introduce your topic and provide a conclusion that summarises your main points more effectively. Although your essay has an introduction and conclusion, enhancing them for clarity and impact will improve your score.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more detailed, elaborated examples. You've used examples, but they could be further expanded upon to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Respond completely to all aspects of the prompt. You've addressed the prompt, but include more exploration or discussion of alternative views for a fully rounded response.

task achievement

Clarify and expand your ideas for a more comprehensive argument. Some of your points could be explained more thoroughly to enhance understanding and engagement.

task achievement

Use specific, relevant examples to support your points. While you have included examples, ensuring they are closely tied to your arguments will make your essay more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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