A FRIEND YOU MADE WHILE YOU WERE STUDYING ABORAD HAS WRITTEN TO ASK YOU FOR HELP IN FINDING JOB IN YOUR COUNTRY. YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT A JOB IN A LOCAL COMPANY THAT MIGHT BE SUITABLE FOR HIM/HER.

#friend #aborad #job #country #company

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Dear Sir or Madam, My name is

parth

Change the capitalization

Parth

show examples

patel and I

live

Wrong verb form

have lived

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Australia for ten years. I live with my wife and family. In

this

letter

Add a comma

letter,

show examples

Capitalize word

show examples

will inform you that, one day

Change the capitalization

show examples

read

the

Correct article usage

show examples

article in

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

magazine. And you advertised in that magazine that you wanted a caretaker

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

save your family. I am the

perfact

Correct your spelling

perfect

man for

this

Job. I have already

working

Wrong verb form

worked

show examples

in many

company's

Change the noun form

companies

company

show examples

for

caretaker

Add an article

the caretaker

a caretaker

show examples

. My

Prevoius

Correct your spelling

Job is

warden

Add an article

a warden

show examples

in ABC

Comapny

Correct your spelling

Company

. I have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good experience to

takecare

Correct your spelling

care

for

Change preposition

show examples

your family and six month

old

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

chid

Correct your spelling

child

show examples

Becauase

Correct your spelling

Because

love

children and enjoy spent time with

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. I give some information for me and my employer

this

is my

manger

Correct your spelling

manager

show examples

conatact

Correct your spelling

contact

number and you give some

detals

Correct your spelling

details

for me. My Name, my address

amd

Correct your spelling

and

telephne

Correct your spelling

telephone

number. He will give you all my details. Actually,

Change the capitalization

show examples

love

this

job because I

love

Family like

grandfather

Correct pronoun usage

my grandfather

show examples

and grandmother.

Beacuse

Correct your spelling

Because

my family lived in

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

. Second thing I

love

children

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

playing with them and

care

Wrong verb form

caring

show examples

for their child. I hope you collect my details and inform me

Change preposition

apply

show examples

As soon as possible. Your Faithfully, Parth

patel

Change the capitalization

Patel

show examples

Submitted by Rachna Academy on Tue Feb 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The task was misunderstood. The prompt asked for a letter to a friend regarding a job opportunity in your country but the letter written addresses a company for a job opening. Understanding the prompt accurately is crucial.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction did not set a clear context for the letter, and the conclusion was absent. Ensure you introduce your purpose in the first paragraph and conclude with a summary of your request or main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose, for example, introduction, explaining your recommendation or experience, offering further help, and conclusion.

Task Achievement

Try to provide specific examples relevant to your friend’s potential job opportunity instead of discussing unrelated personal attributes or experiences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

196 words

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A FRIEND YOU MADE WHILE YOU WERE STUDYING ABORAD HAS WRITTEN TO ASK YOU FOR HELP IN FINDING JOB IN YOUR COUNTRY. YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT A JOB IN A LOCAL COMPANY THAT MIGHT BE SUITABLE FOR HIM/HER.

Fully explain your ideas

Is It very Important for Students to Keep Fit? do you agree or disagree

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays youngsters are less polite and less respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this issue?

Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problem, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.