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Writing Samples /
Band 2

A FRIEND YOU MADE WHILE YOU WERE STUDYING ABORAD HAS WRITTEN TO ASK YOU FOR HELP IN FINDING JOB IN YOUR COUNTRY. YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT A JOB IN A LOCAL COMPANY THAT MIGHT BE SUITABLE FOR HIM/HER.

#friend #aborad #job #country #company
Dear Sir or Madam, My name is
parth
Change the capitalization
Parth
show examples
 patel and I
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia for ten years. I live with my wife and family. In
this
letter
Add a comma
letter,
show examples
i
Capitalize word
I
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 will inform you that, one day
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 read
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 article in
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 magazine. And you advertised in that magazine that you wanted a caretaker
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 save your family. I am the
perfact
Correct your spelling
perfect
 man for
this
 Job. I have already
working
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 in many
company's
Change the noun form
companies
company
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 for
caretaker
Add an article
the caretaker
a caretaker
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. My
Prevoius
Correct your spelling
Previous
 Job is
warden
Add an article
a warden
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 in ABC
Comapny
Correct your spelling
Company
. I have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good experience to
takecare
Correct your spelling
care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your family and six month
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
chid
Correct your spelling
child
show examples
.
Becauase
Correct your spelling
Because
 I
love
 children and enjoy spent time with
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I give some information for me and my employer
this
 is my
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
conatact
Correct your spelling
contact
 number and you give some
detals
Correct your spelling
details
 for me. My Name, my address
amd
Correct your spelling
and
 my
telephne
Correct your spelling
telephone
 number. He will give you all my details. Actually,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
love
this
 job because I
love
 Family like
grandfather
Correct pronoun usage
my grandfather
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 and grandmother.
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
Because
 my family lived in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
. Second thing I
love
 children
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
playing with them and
care
Wrong verb form
caring
show examples
 for their child. I hope you collect my details and inform me
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
As soon as possible. Your Faithfully, Parth
patel
Change the capitalization
Patel
show examples
.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

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Task Achievement
The task was misunderstood. The prompt asked for a letter to a friend regarding a job opportunity in your country but the letter written addresses a company for a job opening. Understanding the prompt accurately is crucial.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction did not set a clear context for the letter, and the conclusion was absent. Ensure you introduce your purpose in the first paragraph and conclude with a summary of your request or main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose, for example, introduction, explaining your recommendation or experience, offering further help, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Try to provide specific examples relevant to your friend’s potential job opportunity instead of discussing unrelated personal attributes or experiences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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