Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume Less Sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Most of the manufactured food and drink
products
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involve too much
sugar
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which can
leads
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lead
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to illness. It is argued that a way of steering clear of processed
foods
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which contain
sugar
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is
make
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to make
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them more expensive. I totally agree with
this
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statement. These days, sugary
products
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are so commonplace, actually, they can be found easily in many supermarkets in the city.
For example
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, if you desire to drink a soda or an energy drink, you just need to go to a market near your home and most probably you can find them there.
In addition
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, most of the sugary
products
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are so delicious and well-designed, so, they can grab
people
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's attention. Children, especially, are highly fond of these
products
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,
as
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for
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an
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apply
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example, most of them can not resist
to
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apply
show examples
a
nutella
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Nutella
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bar. Because of
mentioned
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the mentioned
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reasons, individuals prefer to eat too
much
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many
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sugary
products
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. Now, it is noticeable that the price of most of these
products
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are
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is
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lower than eating a more healthier food in a restaurant,
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due
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and due
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to
this
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they are more economical.
Nevertheless
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, if
people
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have to pay more for these unhealthy sugary meals, they might avoid
of
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apply
show examples
consuming them. So, a price increase in processed
foods
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can cause a drop in eating them. In
this
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cases
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case
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,
people
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may want to eat more healthier
foods
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as opposed to consuming manufactured meals. In conclusion, by increasing
price
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the price
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in
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of
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manufactured
foods
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which
consist
Verb problem
contain
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too much
sugar
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,
people
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may give a chance to less-contained
sugar
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foods
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, which can lead to a
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
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diet, and
as a result
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, more
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
show examples
life and body.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more logically with clear transitions between ideas. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to maintain better flow. Additionally, paragraphing can be improved by ensuring each paragraph is focused on a single main idea, supported with clear examples or explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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