Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume Less Sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Most of the manufactured food and drink
products
involve too much sugar
which can leads
to illness.
It is argued that a way of steering clear of processed Change the verb form
lead
foods
which contain sugar
is make
them more expensive. I totally agree with Fix the infinitive
to make
this
statement.
These days, sugary products
are so commonplace, actually, they can be found easily in many supermarkets in the city. For example
, if you desire to drink a soda or an energy drink, you just need to go to a market near your home and most probably you can find them there. In addition
, most of the sugary products
are so delicious and well-designed, so, they can grab people
's attention. Children, especially, are highly fond of these products
, as
Change preposition
for
an
example, most of them can not resist Correct article usage
apply
to
a Change preposition
apply
nutella
bar.
Because of Change the capitalization
Nutella
mentioned
reasons, individuals prefer to eat too Correct article usage
the mentioned
much
sugary Change the quantifier
many
products
. Now, it is noticeable that the price of most of these products
are
lower than eating a more healthier food in a restaurant, Change the verb form
is
due
to Correct word choice
and due
this
they are more economical. Nevertheless
, if people
have to pay more for these unhealthy sugary meals, they might avoid of
consuming them. So, a price increase in processed Change preposition
apply
foods
can cause a drop in eating them. In this
cases
, Fix the agreement mistake
case
people
may want to eat more healthier foods
as opposed to consuming manufactured meals.
In conclusion, by increasing price
Correct article usage
the price
in
manufactured Change preposition
of
foods
which consist
too much Verb problem
contain
sugar
, people
may give a chance to less-contained sugar
foods
, which can lead to a more healthy
diet, and Correct word choice
healthier
as a result
, more healthy
life and body.Replace the word
healthier
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To improve in task response, ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the question more explicitly and develops a more nuanced argument. Include a variety of specific examples and evidences that are directly related to your main argument to make your stance clearer and more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more logically with clear transitions between ideas. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to maintain better flow. Additionally, paragraphing can be improved by ensuring each paragraph is focused on a single main idea, supported with clear examples or explanations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!