Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some sectors of society believe that governments should prohibit high-risk sports,

while

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others disagree that people should do any sports as they are free to decide whatever is best for them. I believe that under controlled situations, sportspersons can perform any activity, even if it is dangerous for them, as long as they compromise other's integrity.

To begin

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with, dangerous sports could be a potential hazard for others.

This

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is because there are many records throughout the history of many incidents caused by sportsperson's mistakes or failures in the event organisation.

For instance

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, the Formula 1 car exploded against a fence after a massive crash in the race. hurting dozens of spectators.

That is

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why these sectors of society believe that the government should ban

this

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kind of sport, which has a clear point of protecting people.

On the other hand

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, we can't stop making someone do what they really love. I believe each person has the right choice before doing

this

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kind of sport. They can put themselves in danger because of their happiness when doing what they want.

For example

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, in the same case of the Formula 1 race, not letting all these drivers do what they probably most enjoy in their lives just because it is appropriate for several groups. In

this

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situation, it does not seem right to interfere with other's will, a fair reason to

also

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support

this

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thought. In conclusion,

although

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the government just want to protect civilians from the risk of witnessing these kings of spectacular events, sportspersons make their own decisions because they know themselves best and

that is

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why the government must regulate the organisation of the events and guarantee the safety of spectators and sportspeople.

baonhi260804Tue Feb 27 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. Your essay generally does so, but refining the connection between paragraphs could further enhance readability and flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices effectively but avoid overuse or incorrect use, which can detract from the clarity of your argument. Use synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the prompt in your response. You've done a good job discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Expanding on your own viewpoint with more detailed explanations or examples could make your position even stronger.

Task Achievement

Integrate a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your points. This enriches your essay and makes your arguments more convincing. While your examples are pertinent, additional or more detailed examples could amplify your essay's effectiveness.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prohibit
restrict
public safety
risk assessment
personal autonomy
adrenaline junkie
fatality
injury
economic impact
tourist attraction
caution
supervision

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? Discuss the above and give your opinion using examples.

Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Do you agree or disagree?

news plays an important part of most people's lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? should the news focus on good news instead?