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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

#people #self- #work #company #organization #be #case
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Some
people
 prefer to be self-employed rather than work for other institutions or companies.
While
 there are distinct adverse effects and beneficial effects. In
this
 essay, I will explain the case of that and express different disadvantages. On the one hand, working in companies or organizations could restrict employment in several aspects, because need for
time
 discipline and commitment which are difficult for chaotic individuals. They are willing to establish their own market and thrive in development and most of these
people
 patience to survive all the obstacles.
For instance
, it has been shown that most
people
 who own personal businesses are more successful than others because they release themselves from restrictions.
On the other hand
, there are
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 effects of that, starting with financial issues which could lead to huge money loss
besides
, reducing the number of employees will significantly affect productivity.
Also
, need more
time
 to achieve one task
in contrast
 with the increase of
people
 in the company contributing to work more efficiently.
For example
, a recent study showed that individual who owns a business they are encountering difficulty in overcoming these struggles on their own which in an indirect way affects their production and achievement. In conclusion, the self-employed could assist residents who confront problems with
time
 management and routine jobs. At the same
time
, some of them don’t have insurance to protect themselves from losing.
Also
, there is a strong correlation between reducing the existence of employees in the company and the qualification of the work which in a significant way leads to a decline in the output.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure your supporting points are more clearly related to the main idea of each paragraph. For example, clearly link the benefits and drawbacks to the choice of being self-employed.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations. Try to illustrate your points with detailed scenarios or studies.
coherence cohesion
Take care to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability and avoid repetition. Different sentence patterns can make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps give your essay structure.
task achievement
Your response is relevant to the task prompt and touches upon the key points of why people choose self-employment and its disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Financial instability
  • Job security
  • Self-employed
  • Technological advancements
  • Digital marketing
  • Remote work tools
  • Work-life balance
  • Healthcare benefits
  • Retirement plans
  • Higher earnings
  • Personal passion
  • Flexibility
  • Workload
  • Stress levels
What to do next:
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