Some people believe that when people become old and need help financially, physically and mentally, young members of the family should be responsible to take care of them. Do you agree of disagree with the statement?

Some
people
think that when
people
reach the age
Change preposition
of
show examples
includes old person and struggle financially, physically or mentally, are in desperate need of
care
by a junior member of their family. Older
people
in the stage of poor health and have a lower budget need to be looked after by the latest family
members
. Others argue that living and taking
care
of their elderly may lead to a lack of courage in
teenagers
to be independent.
This
is because older
members
of the family may happen to have a lot of experience with life than young
members
and that leads to having control over the
teenagers
. One of the other causes is to have less
time
to spend on themselves.
This
means that they have to make sure that their elderly's health stays stable. The fact that
teenagers
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
less on themselves may cause a mental breakdown on
teenagers
.
This
means that they have a hard
time
living with their elderly. One other reason is that having to look after old
members
may cause exhaustion in
teenagers
. Meanwhile, some others believe that old
members
that
at
Add a missing verb
are at
show examples
the stage of oldness that they can not no longer look after themselves are in need of young
members
’ help. One of the main reasons for young
members
to take
care
of their elderly is to be able to spend the majority of their
time
with them.
This
is because nobody knows when they will rest in peace, and
this
is why
high
Change the article
a high
the high
show examples
number of family
members
put younger on the duty of looking after them.
This
is because they happen to spend less
time
with their elderly. Some
people
believe that when a family member turns old, they need to be looked after and in need of taking
care
of their budget,
mental
Correct word choice
and mental
show examples
illnesses. From my point of view,
teenagers
must help their elderly out in any situation that affects their older
members
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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