Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Along with
the development of social media and all kinds of platforms, individuals have more
interation
Correct your spelling
interaction
with celebrities
however
some of them are recognized by their wealth o prizes
instead
of achievement. In my perspective,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
issues like that will be hazardous for youth, especially for the adolescent. On the one hand, there is no doubt that stars possess
dramtic
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dramatic
public influence, the majority of them are
ranking
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ranked
show examples
the top one in their
carrer
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career
, like Messy,
worldwide
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a worldwide
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excelent
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excellent
football sporter, as can be seen, his achievement like
champion
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a champion
show examples
in football is the prominent factor to appeal public.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
his experience and hardworking spirit had inspired
the
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apply
show examples
generation Y any
actions
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action
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his
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apply
show examples
would
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
waves between fans like the donation of property to
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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needed
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help.
On the other hand
, the
milleneam
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millennial
millennium
precise more
the
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on the
show examples
commercial worth of
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the influencier
show examples
influencier
Correct your spelling
influencer
influence
rather than their achievement, which
inevitablely
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inevitably
leads to the
persuition
Correct your spelling
persuasion
and speculation
to
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of
show examples
social
statues
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status
show examples
and
priviledge
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privilege
. Take Venezuela as a vivid example, a large
amount
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number
show examples
of teenagers in
this
country are reluctant to finish
pulsory
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compulsory
education but
to
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apply
show examples
participate
an
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in an
show examples
array of
beaty
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beauty
contest
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contests
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due to
being a champion can provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
better living standard and a stunning future.
To conclude
, young people are
nuclear
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a nuclear
show examples
columne
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column
columns
of social development, they should be cultivated
for contributing
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to contribute
show examples
to the construction of
country
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the country
show examples
and public character should
asume
Correct your spelling
assume
their onus to right value to the next generation.
Submitted by futaommy on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrities
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • dangerous
  • young people
  • idolized
  • aspire
  • materialistic
  • impressionable
  • personal growth
  • meaningful
  • goals
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • intellectual pursuits
  • positive impact
  • platform
  • parents
  • educators
  • role models
  • guiding
  • inspire
  • reach their full potential
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