Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Along with
the development of social media and all kinds of platforms, individuals have more Linking Words
interation
with celebrities Correct your spelling
interaction
however
some of them are recognized by their wealth o prizes Linking Words
instead
of achievement. In my perspective, Linking Words
the
issues like that will be hazardous for youth, especially for the adolescent.
On the one hand, there is no doubt that stars possess Correct article usage
apply
dramtic
public influence, the majority of them are Correct your spelling
dramatic
ranking
the top one in their Wrong verb form
ranked
carrer
, like Messy, Correct your spelling
career
worldwide
Correct article usage
a worldwide
excelent
football sporter, as can be seen, his achievement like Correct your spelling
excellent
champion
in football is the prominent factor to appeal public. Add an article
a champion
Linking Words
Furthermore
his experience and hardworking spirit had inspiredAdd a comma
Furthermore,
the
generation Y any Correct article usage
apply
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
from
Change preposition
apply
his
would Correct pronoun usage
apply
result
waves between fans like the donation of property to Add the preposition
result in
result from
whom
needed Correct pronoun usage
those who
to be
help.
Verb problem
apply
On the other hand
, the Linking Words
milleneam
precise more Correct your spelling
millennial
millennium
the
commercial worth of Change preposition
on the
Correct article usage
the influencier
influencier
rather than their achievement, which Correct your spelling
influencer
influence
inevitablely
leads to the Correct your spelling
inevitably
persuition
and speculation Correct your spelling
persuasion
to
social Change preposition
of
statues
and Correct your spelling
status
priviledge
. Take Venezuela as a vivid example, a large Correct your spelling
privilege
amount
of teenagers in Change the quantifier
number
this
country are reluctant to finish Linking Words
pulsory
education but Correct your spelling
compulsory
to
participate Fix the infinitive
apply
an
array of Change preposition
in an
beaty
Correct your spelling
beauty
contest
Fix the agreement mistake
contests
due to
being a champion can provide themLinking Words
a
better living standard and a stunning future.
Add the preposition
with a
To conclude
, young people are Linking Words
nuclear
Correct article usage
a nuclear
columne
of social development, they should be cultivated Correct your spelling
column
columns
for contributing
to the construction of Change preposition
to contribute
country
and public character should Correct article usage
the country
asume
their onus to right value to the next generation.Correct your spelling
assume
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structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well connected to the overall argument.
linking
To improve coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make the logical flow of your essay clearer.
examples
When providing examples, consider how they directly support your main argument. Clearer and more direct examples can enhance the relevance and impact of your points.
development
Work on developing your ideas further and expanding on your arguments. While you present valid points, deeper analysis and more detailed explanation could enhance the quality of your essay.
language
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. While your essay is understandable, refining your language skills will make your argument stronger and easier to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.