Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the cases?Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
There is a trend that much time of young people
are
spent on the mobile phones. It is totally negative from my perspective. The essay will explain how the phenomenon comes and why it is harmful.
On the one hand, the parents ignore the significance of Change the verb form
is
company
. There are more and more people Add an article
the company
tend
to focus Correct pronoun usage
who tend
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
their career rather than their family. In consequence, young Change preposition
on
children
have no person to play with and talk with. The only object which is interactive is the smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
phone
.
On the other hand
, there are more and more mobile games in the APP store. Though the kids may not be taught how to download it, the game will easily attract children
to touch it by
some cartoon or voice. Change preposition
with
For instance
, my little sister, who is only 5 years old, watch
Wrong verb form
watched
a
educational video. There are various Change the article
an
advertisement
of games at the corner of the screen.
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
In addition
, the ability of
self-control is worse when Change preposition
to
peolple
are young. The parents should take the responsibility of monitoring the Correct your spelling
people
children
. Otherwise
, they may be addicted into
the mobile Change preposition
to
phone
. Thus
, it will have negative
impact on their learning skills. Add an article
a negative
Moreover
, spending much
time on the Rephrase
too much
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
phone
will also
cause damage to the eyes. There is a set of Chinese datas
Correct your spelling
data
show
that with the Wrong verb form
showing
propotion
of residents who haveCorrect your spelling
proportion
promotion
a
Correct article usage
apply
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
increase
, the people who wear glasses Replace the word
increasing
tend
to be more.
In conclusion, the case is caused by two main aspects. It has Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
effection
on the learning and healthy condition of the Replace the word
effect
children
.Submitted by niubaochun on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea with supporting details, and your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, and to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
examples
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and details. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
style
Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to avoid repetition and to make your essay more engaging.
language
Pay careful attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to avoid errors that can distract from your message.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.