Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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In recent years, many countries reported some problems regarding our
environment
. These issues are suspected as the focal reason for climate change. I believe that there are two causes of
this
damage and some solution needs to be taken.
To begin
with, there are two crucial reasons which are harming the
environment
.
Firstly
, the main cause is the leap in population over these 20 years.
This
rise leads to numerous problems in order to satisfy human needs,
such
as the development of residential areas, the increase in the wardrobe industry, food, and other supplementary needs. Even worse, people drain these life sources from our planet which leads to destruction. Another reason for
this
damaging phenomenon is the mining sector. The excessive mining
activities
in some countries are damaging the neighbourhood of the mining area. As an illustration, the land issue in Sidoarjo, East Java, was caused by irresponsible mining
activities
. It took a vast area of the city and the houses of its citizens. In order to solve
this
issue, some solutions need to be executed by the government and individuals.
Firstly
, the government should come forward to protect the
environment
from disasters.
For example
, the United Nations could make a certain regulation regarding the building of residential areas which usually demolish green spaces.
In addition
, each country can implement a limitation in terms of eco-friendly equipment for industry sectors, so it can produce its product with less emission.
Lastly
, each individual can participate in
this
effort by implementing a minimalist lifestyle. In summary, as human needs in various aspects and mining
activities
are harming the
environment
, some measures need to be taken. These actions consist of governmental and individual acts. Government can set a limit and make a regulation on people's
activities
and individuals can shift to frugal living.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Use linking phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked, which is excellent. Try to make your conclusion more impactful by succinctly restating your main points and your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed examples. Though you have provided examples, delving deeper into specifics would strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. You have effectively discussed causes and solutions, but ensure you elaborate equally on both to fully satisfy the task requirements.
task achievement
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express your ideas. Avoid repetition and strive for clarity in your argumentation to enhance your essay's comprehensibility and engagement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
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