This graph depicts the sugar manufacturing procedure from sugar cane. It is clear from the diagram

This graph depicts the sugar manufacturing procedure from sugar cane. It is clear from the diagram
IELTS Writing Task Chart for This graph depicts the sugar manufacturing procedure from sugar cane. It is clear from the diagram
This
Linking Words
graph depicts the
sugar
Use synonyms
manufacturing procedure from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane. It is clear from the diagram that producing
sugar
Use synonyms
goes through seven steps until it
would be
Wrong verb form
is
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ready for human consumption.
According to
Linking Words
what is shown,
the
Change preposition
in the
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agriculture process, where the
sugar
Use synonyms
cane needs
for
Change preposition
apply
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12-18 months raising up
,
Remove the comma
apply
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before it will be matured for harvesting.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
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harvesting process could be done in two different methods, by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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or by using harvesting heavy equipment. After that,
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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will be crushed using
crusher
Correct article usage
a crusher
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tool to extract the
sugar
Use synonyms
juice.
Then
Linking Words
it will be heated in an evaporator until it
get
Change the verb form
gets
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into syrup after the juice
getting
Wrong verb form
gets
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purified using a limestone filter. The
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals
then
Linking Words
will be separated from the syrup.
Finally
Linking Words
, it will be dried and cooled to get the final
sugar
Use synonyms
product.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that the process of productizing
sugar
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undergoes five steps after growing the
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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for more than one year, and harvesting them by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
or using technical tools.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depicts" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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