This graph depicts the sugar manufacturing procedure from sugar cane. It is clear from the diagram

This

Linking Words

graph depicts the

sugar

Use synonyms

manufacturing procedure from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane. It is clear from the diagram that producing

sugar

Use synonyms

goes through seven steps until it

would be

Wrong verb form

show examples

ready for human consumption.

According to

Linking Words

what is shown,

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

agriculture process, where the

sugar

Use synonyms

cane needs

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

12-18 months raising up

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

before it will be matured for harvesting.

Linking Words

While the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

harvesting process could be done in two different methods, by

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

or by using harvesting heavy equipment. After that,

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

will be crushed using

crusher

Correct article usage

a crusher

show examples

tool to extract the

sugar

Use synonyms

juice.

Then

Linking Words

it will be heated in an evaporator until it

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

into syrup after the juice

getting

Wrong verb form

gets

show examples

purified using a limestone filter. The

sugar

Use synonyms

crystals

then

Linking Words

will be separated from the syrup.

Finally

Linking Words

, it will be dried and cooled to get the final

sugar

Use synonyms

product.

To sum up

Linking Words

, we could say that the process of productizing

sugar

Use synonyms

undergoes five steps after growing the

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

for more than one year, and harvesting them by

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

or using technical tools.

shaymaa.khalaf91

Feb 28, 2024

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depicts" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

169 words

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