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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many parts of the world, rural residents are migrating to cities, leading to a decrease in the population of the countryside.

#parts #world #residents #cities #decrease #population #countryside
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In many parts of the world, rural
residents
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 are migrating to
cities
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, leading to a decrease in the population of the countryside.
While
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this
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 development has some positive aspects, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, there are several
benefits
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 to rural inhabitants moving to urban
areas
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.
For instance
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,
cities
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 usually have better infrastructure and facilities,
such
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 as hospitals, schools, and transportation, which can
make
Verb problem
give
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 the rural
residents
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 have higher standard of living. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural
residents
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 can access
to
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apply
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job opportunities easier in
cities
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, where the demand for
labor
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labour
show examples
 is higher than in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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. At the same time,
cities
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Use synonyms
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 from
a
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an
show examples
 influx of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 too, which allows the productivity of the country available to increase.
However
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, I believe that these
benefits
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 are outweighed by the disadvantages.
Firstly
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,
he
Correct your spelling
the
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 migration of rural
residents
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 to urban
areas
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 can lead to social problems
such
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 as income inequality followed by higher potential crime rates. More significantly, the food supply of the country may decrease
due to
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 the contraction of
rural
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the rural
show examples
 population,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 output of agricultural products would be reduced
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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migration.
In addition
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, the loss of rural population can lead to
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
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 of cultural diversity. Migrating from downtown to
cities
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 would lead to
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
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 impact on traditional ways of life
as well as
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 cultural heritage
that
Correct word choice
and
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 rural
residents
Use synonyms
 may gradually lose their unique customs and living habits. In conclusion,
while
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 there are several
benefits
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 to rural
residents
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 moving to urban
areas
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, I consider that the downsides far outweigh the
upside
Fix the agreement mistake
upsides
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. The development raises concerns about social and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues in
cities
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as well as
Linking Words
 the loss of cultural heritage in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
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Introduction Improvement
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Paragraph Structure
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Coherence
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Conclusion
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Task Response
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Support and Examples
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Language Use
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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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