IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many parts of the world, rural residents are migrating to cities, leading to a decrease in the population of the countryside.

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In many parts of the world, rural
residents
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 are migrating to
cities
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, leading to a decrease in the population of the countryside.
While
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this
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 development has some positive aspects, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, there are several
benefits
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 to rural inhabitants moving to urban
areas
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.
For instance
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,
cities
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 usually have better infrastructure and facilities,
such
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 as hospitals, schools, and transportation, which can
make
Verb problem
give
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 the rural
residents
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 have higher standard of living. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural
residents
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 can access
to
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apply
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job opportunities easier in
cities
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, where the demand for
labor
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labour
show examples
 is higher than in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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. At the same time,
cities
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Use synonyms
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
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 from
a
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an
show examples
 influx of
labor
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labour
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 too, which allows the productivity of the country available to increase.
However
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, I believe that these
benefits
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 are outweighed by the disadvantages.
Firstly
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,
he
Correct your spelling
the
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 migration of rural
residents
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 to urban
areas
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 can lead to social problems
such
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 as income inequality followed by higher potential crime rates. More significantly, the food supply of the country may decrease
due to
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 the contraction of
rural
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the rural
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 population,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 output of agricultural products would be reduced
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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migration.
In addition
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, the loss of rural population can lead to
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
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 of cultural diversity. Migrating from downtown to
cities
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 would lead to
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
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 impact on traditional ways of life
as well as
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 cultural heritage
that
Correct word choice
and
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 rural
residents
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 may gradually lose their unique customs and living habits. In conclusion,
while
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 there are several
benefits
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 to rural
residents
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 moving to urban
areas
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, I consider that the downsides far outweigh the
upside
Fix the agreement mistake
upsides
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. The development raises concerns about social and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 issues in
cities
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as well as
Linking Words
 the loss of cultural heritage in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction Improvement
Focus on creating a clear and distinct introductory paragraph that outlines your main arguments and sets the tone for your essay. This will give readers a roadmap of what to expect.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your paragraphs logically, ensuring that each one focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce these ideas and provide clear, detailed examples to support them.
Coherence
Incorporate transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay. These links will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
Conclusion
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarises your main points and reiterates your stance, without introducing new information.
Task Response
Revisit the task requirements to ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt. Make sure to directly address the advantages and disadvantages mentioned, ensuring that the discussion is balanced.
Support and Examples
Incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. Using specific, relevant examples can significantly bolster your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Language Use
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary. This will not only make your essay more engaging but will also demonstrate your language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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