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Band 4

In many parts of the world, rural residents are migrating to cities, leading to a decrease in the population of the countryside.

#parts #world #residents #cities #decrease #population #countryside
In many parts of the world, rural
residents
 are migrating to
cities
, leading to a decrease in the population of the countryside.
While
this
 development has some positive aspects, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, there are several
benefits
 to rural inhabitants moving to urban
areas
.
For instance
,
cities
 usually have better infrastructure and facilities,
such
 as hospitals, schools, and transportation, which can
make
Verb problem
give
show examples
 the rural
residents
 have higher standard of living. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
residents
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job opportunities easier in
cities
, where the demand for
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 is higher than in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. At the same time,
cities
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 from
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 influx of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 too, which allows the productivity of the country available to increase.
However
, I believe that these
benefits
 are outweighed by the disadvantages.
Firstly
,
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 migration of rural
residents
 to urban
areas
 can lead to social problems
such
 as income inequality followed by higher potential crime rates. More significantly, the food supply of the country may decrease
due to
 the contraction of
rural
Add an article
the rural
show examples
 population,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 output of agricultural products would be reduced
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
migration.
In addition
, the loss of rural population can lead to
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of cultural diversity. Migrating from downtown to
cities
 would lead to
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
show examples
 impact on traditional ways of life
as well as
 cultural heritage
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 rural
residents
 may gradually lose their unique customs and living habits. In conclusion,
while
 there are several
benefits
 to rural
residents
 moving to urban
areas
, I consider that the downsides far outweigh the
upside
Fix the agreement mistake
upsides
show examples
. The development raises concerns about social and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues in
cities
as well as
 the loss of cultural heritage in rural
areas
.
Submitted by 27475868 on

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Introduction Improvement
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Paragraph Structure
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Coherence
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Conclusion
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Task Response
Revisit the task requirements to ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt. Make sure to directly address the advantages and disadvantages mentioned, ensuring that the discussion is balanced.
Support and Examples
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Language Use
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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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