It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Some
people
are risk-takers, while
others tend to play it safe. The importance of risk-taking in all aspects of people
’s lives can hardly be overestimated, whether it is about careers or casual daily activities. Although
there are both advantages and disadvantages associated with taking risks
, I claim that the negative aspects take precedence over the pros.
On the one hand, people
who take risks
can achieve more. The history is full of examples of famous persons, who decided to quit a stable job and to open a privet business and succeeded, such
as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney. Another example can be people
who win the lottery or play in the stock market, even though gambling is associated with risk-taking, the prize can be substantially rewarding. In addition
, some hobbies that include risky activities make our lives more colourful, like skiing or skydiving.
However
, there are some disadvantages when it comes to risk-taking, as only a few can enjoy the outcome. Firstly
, on one famous successful businessman, there are thousands of less lucky, who lost everything, as they have quit their jobs or as they have invested money in a risky business. Similarly
, the chance to win the lottery or on the stock exchange is minor, so most individuals just take unjustified risks
by paying money for the illusion of getting rich quickly and easily. Further
, risky sports often result in injury or may even take life. Finally
, risk-taking behaviour develops an addiction and causes people
to look for more and more dangerous projects.
In conclusion, nevertheless
sometimes taking risks
can significantly improve people
’s lives, there are a plethora of disadvantages that outweigh the positive aspects. Only a limited amount of people
can get the desired result, and the rest will suffer from unexpected or harmful outcomes.Submitted by vikiregev on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Support & Development
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use examples to support your points effectively. While the essay includes some relevant examples, further development or varied examples could enhance your argument.
Task Response
Be careful with generalizations. Try to nuance your argument by acknowledging exceptions or incorporating a broader range of perspectives. This could make your argument more balanced and persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help in making your essay flow more naturally from one point to another.
Language Use
Pay attention to the accuracy of your vocabulary and grammar. While minor inaccuracies don't significantly impact the overall quality, refining your language use can contribute to a clearer and more professional expression of your ideas.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively summarizing your main points and providing a solid frame for your essay.
Organization
You have a logical structure with each paragraph discussing a distinct aspect of the topic, which helps in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
Examples
Your examples of famous personalities and references to risky activities add relevance and interest to your argument, showing a good attempt at task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.